


Finding Love through Nature

by Yonkyu



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Time, M/M, Top Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:47:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2004417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yonkyu/pseuds/Yonkyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen have been on Supernatural for 9 years and the show is going out with a BANG!! Before season 9 starts, Jensen and Danni break up. Jared supports Jensen through the break up and helps support him to move on. Jared has a flash back of his break up with Gen and the support he got from Jensen. Jensen knows Jared is gay, but never had feelings for him until well his break up with Danni. So as friends Jared plans a trip to Maine, but also wants to share his feelings with Jensen. They go to Maine and while they are there; they go to different tourist attractions in nature where feelings are expressed but no one wants to take the next step. Finally their feelings become too much, will either one of them be able to tell the other how they really feel for the other?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Jensen – POV

 

 

It’s a hot summer night in Vancouver and the stars are shining brightly in the sky.  As Jensen parks his truck in the driveway, he notices there are no lights on inside.  Absentmindedly, he grabs his belongings and heads towards the large, pale yellow house.  He opens the door and turns the light on, places his belongings down on the floor near the hope chest.

 

Jensen thinks, **it’s weird that Danni isn’t done filming yet.  Hope she’s just late** _._  

 

He sighs and shrugs as he walks towards the living room to turn on the lamp on the oak end table.  He sits down on the large maroon couch, smirks, and picks up the phone to call in an order for delivery from his favorite pizza shop, Vancouver House of Pizza; a large pepperoni and mushroom calzone.

 

He walks to the kitchen to pull out a beer from the fridge and then heads back towards the couch.  Jensen flops down, turning on the TV to watch the Rangers vs. Red Sox game.  He twists the top off the beer and takes a long swig of the sweet citrus taste of the golden liquid.  He ponders the connection between good beer and sex.  The doorbell rings.  Jensen scowls, then realizes it must be his food. 

 

Jensen opens the door, grabs the food, as he thrusts the money at the boy, saying “Here ya go kid,” and shuts the door with his foot.

 

Jensen heads back towards the couch with his calzone to finish watching the Rangers game.

 

Once he’s finished enjoying his food, Jensen gets up to throw the pizza box into the recycle bin when he notices a picture on the wall.  It’s a picture of him and Danni at the beach in Hawaii for their 7-year anniversary.  He stares at the image, losing himself in memories.

 

_Jensen was kneeling behind Danni, on the circle beach towel facing the ocean.  He picked up the tanning oil that was by her right leg.  Danni just looked down at the bottle with dark eyes and looked back towards the ocean.  Jensen opened the bottle, placed a good amount on his hands, and gently rubbed them together.  He rested his hands on her shoulders and started rubbing in slow circular motions.  He continued to go in a circular motion down towards the middle of her back and Jensen could feel the tension in her body.  He didn’t understand why his girlfriend would feel so tense under his hands.  It made him feel guilty and self-conscious about what was going on between them.  He stopped what he was doing and sat Indian style behind her to the left to have a clear view of the ocean.  Jensen replaced the cap on the bottle and rolled it to her.  She reached out and picked it up without making eye contact._

****

_Jensen just sighed; he knew a distance was growing between them, but he still loved her.  Jensen always wanted to give her everything, still planned to, but at that moment, he was struck with doubts and anxiety about where they stood.  Jensen knew that Danni was getting more opportunities for many different roles, for either movies or television.  He was always supportive of her in wanting to take risks in the industry to get her big break._

_Jensen made sure to be the gentleman he always thought Danni wanted, holding doors open for her and pulling out her chair.  He treated her like a princess, in her very own castle.  Now it seemed that wasn’t what she wanted after all._

****

_Jensen had a sick feeling that things between them were not right at all.  He needed to find a way to bring back that spark between them or his biggest fear would come true.  They had been together for 7 years now and he just could not comprehend how the little things they did for each other no longer seemed to mean much of anything._

With tears forming in his eyes, Jensen shakes his head.  He blinks them away.  He will be strong enough not to fall apart even though the familiar doubts have returned just from looking at the two-month-old photograph.  Yet, he knows that sooner or later, the stress of his anxiety is going to show its ugly face – whether he wants to admit it or not.

 

He feels stuck in a highly emotional state, holding him place in time.  He thinks it might be more than he can take.

 

His phone vibrates in his pocket.

 

Jensen jerks back to the here and now.  He fumbles with pulling the phone out and reads the text.

 

Want 2 meet Chris & me at the bar?

 

Jensen smiles at the text; he hadn’t realized that Steve and Chris were in town for a gig at the local bar.  Jensen sends a text response.

 

Sure.  Danni prob still @ work.

 

Jensen grabs his keys and heads out for the night to hang out with his friends.  He is so glad that Steve texted him, because Jensen was heading to bed after the game anyway and didn’t want to think about the gut feeling he has inside regarding Danni. 

 

Jensen drives to the Starlight Bar, the most famous low- key bar in Vancouver, where most of the locals are known by name.

 

As Jensen walks through the doors, he can hear Steve singing karaoke on stage with Chris.  Pausing to watch his friend on stage, he can tell they’re drunk.  Steve is swaying in a circle while tapping his foot to the beat of the music.  His voice is too high-pitched and he is slurring his words.  Steve is laughing when he reaches the high notes and scratches at the sensation it makes on his vocal cords.

 

Laughing, Jensen feels the tension slowly leave his body while watching his drunken friends on stage singing _We Will Rock You_.

 

As Jensen starts towards the stage, Chris heads to the bar, and Steve makes his own way off stage.  The next thing Jensen knows, Chris is handing him a beer.  He accepts the beer and gives him a welcoming greeting.  Steve sees his favorite boys standing in the middle of the bar, talking without him.  Steve greets Jensen by giving him a warm hug and shows them where there table is for them to sit and talk.

 

“Hi, Jenny, what’s up?”

 

“Hi, Steve, I’m fine, just worried about Danni.  I hope she’s still safe at work.”

 

<~~~~>

 

Steve’s POV

 

“I honestly think she is fine, Jen.  Maybe she had to work late and was too busy to text you.”Steve says with a small smile, soft tone, hoping Jensen won’t pick up on it because he does not want to share with Jen what he saw at the park today when he took Icarus for a walk. 

 

Steve ponders what he should do.  

 

Jensen picks up his beer and takes a sip.  Jensen relaxes as he falls into familiar banter with Chris.

 

“You’re probably right; I’m just reading way too much into it.”

 

Steve just sits back in the booth and watches his friends enjoying each other’s company with ease.  Steve thinks back to this afternoon at the park with Icarus.

 

_Danneel had called Steve, asking for a favor since he was in town: would he take Icarus for a walk since she had work and Jensen was visiting family.  Steve hung up the phone and headed to their place and let himself in. He could hear the dog running down the stairs to greet his visitor.  Icarus rubbed up against Steve’s leg until he pet the dog’s head.  Steve found the leash on the hope chest and snapped it onto the collar._

_He took Icarus to Greeley Park, where there was a dirt trail winding along a small lake.  Across the lake from the entrance of the park, there is a small forest, and large oak and maple trees line the trail on the left-hand side to offer shade to walkers.  The sweet sounds of robins and blue jays chirped in the trees.  Under some large oak trees benches faced the crystal clear lake._

_Danneel was there._

_She was there with a man._

_A man, not Jensen._

_She was there with a not Jensen man.  Kissing him.  On the bench.  Right there.  In public._

_The man who was not Jensen was kissing Jensen’s girlfriend right there on that bench._

_Right.  There._

_Recently he’s noticed she hasn’t been checking in with Jensen as much as she used to, and the sparkle in her eyes when she’d look at Jensen seemed to be absent._

_Steve just hoped that she would be the one to break the news with Jensen. **It is going to come from her mouth not mine.**_

****

_Steve continued down the path to where the other dogs where near the dock that extended onto the lake.  He tossed sticks for Icarus and the other dogs to fetch, all the while keeping an eye on the make-out scene between Danneel and her “new” man._

_It’s starting to get late, but he waited for her and her “kissing face” man to leave the park.  It made Steve’s anger boil even more when they left together in the same car.  H **ow long have those two been together?**   Surely it was a planned outing and he felt bad for his friend who was visiting his family while she had moved on to someone new.  He just didn’t want to know his best friend’s relationship was in trouble or so one-sided.  He knew Jensen was in love with her and a break-up would crush him._

_Steve decided to take Icarus back to his place until Danneel was done working.  He didn’t feel comfortable leaving the dog alone, not knowing when Jensen would be getting back.  He felt like he was watching a movie where the main character wasn’t aware of someone finding out their secret.  He got the sense that it was pure luck of meeting her there; regardless of her intentions._

_< ~~~~>_

 

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen and his friends share some laughs about their younger days and the accomplishments each of them have achieved.  Jensen is pleased to share with his friends that his most treasured memory in his life is meeting Danneel.  Steve seems distracted and lost in his thoughts.

 

Jensen looks at his watch and yawns as he is trying to read the time.  It’s getting late. Danni, still has not texted him regarding where she is, which is very unlike her.

 

He stands and says good night to both Steve and Chris with a hug and a pat on each of their backs.  Jensen heads home for the night, wishing and hoping that Danneel will be there.

 

Jensen arrives at home and notices that the lights are still off.  He turns the key and opens the door, noticing a soft light and sound coming from the television.  As he enters the living room, Danneel is sitting on her favorite red leather chair with their dog, Icarus, at her feet.  He sits down next to her on the ottoman that goes with her special chair. 

 

The look on her face creates an unsettled feeling in his stomach.  She looks up at him with deep sadness in her eyes.

 

“Jen, we need to talk.”

Jensen’s eyes bug out of his head when he hears these words.  He has no idea what she could possibly want to talk to him about.  Truthfully, he has been dreading the doubts for months, wondering when it will come out into the open.

 

“I have been thinking long and hard about this Jen.  I can’t continue to be in a relationship that is not based on love and sadly we have grown apart.”

 

“Danni, I know it’s been hard on us with your new movie and the final season of Supernatural, but we’ve always worked around our schedules.”

 

“I know we have, but I have to admit that we’re just going through the motions and I’m no longer in love with you; I love someone else.”

 

“Wait, what!  Danni, we can work this out!  I know sometimes it feels like we’re just going through the motions, but I am in love with you.”

She sadly shakes her head and says, “I know, but Jen, my love for you has changed and it wouldn’t be right for the both of us if I stayed.”

Jensen sits there and struggles to think of something to say, something to make her stay, when it hits him hard in the gut and heart: she is right.  A one-sided love isn’t enough to hold together their relationship, nor is it fair for him to try and make her stay.  Jensen struggles to keep himself **c** omposed long enough to say the words that will set them both free.

 

“I respect your honesty and love.  I wish you the best.”Jensen says with deep sadness and hurt in his voice.

 

“Jen, you can keep Icarus.”

 

“What? Just Jen, you can keep Icarus!”

 

“I can’t stay – wait, you’re okay with this?  You’re letting me go? Just like that, no long fight about it.”

 

“Yes, I’ve realized that you are right, we are just going through the motions.  It could work if we both felt the same kind of love for one another as we once had, but we don’t.  It wouldn’t be fair to either of us to stay together as if we still loved each other like we had when we don’t.”

 

“Will you be okay?” Danni says with concern.

 

“I don’t know, but I’ll try.”

 

“Okay, you should keep Icarus, he always liked you better anyway, and he has been your dog from the start.”

 

“Thanks.”  Jensen says sheepishly.

After a few moments of silence, Danneel gets up from the chair, placing her hand on his.  Jensen stands up, holding her hand in his and walks her towards the door.

 

“Good-bye Danneel,”he says,trying to hold back the tears Jensen knows will fall once she is gone.

 

“Good-bye Jensen, take care of yourself.”  Danni says with pure hope for him in the end.

Jensen gives Danneel a hug good-bye and opens the door to let her go.  He watches her walk towards her car and the tears start to fall.  Jensen closes the door, leans up against it with his back towards it, and slides down the door to the floor.  His tears are falling freely now and he just lets it all out while he brings his knees up towards his chest and rocks back and forth.  Jensen stays that way for an hour and when his tears and breathing slow, he uncurls his body from the fetal position to a sitting with his legs stretched out and his back against the wall.  Too numb to do anything else, Jensen feels Icarus curl up next to him.   Now with his lap available, Icarus gently places his head on his legs and looks up at him with his big, understanding brown eyes, whimpering softly as if to comfort him.

 

Jensen pulls out his cell phone and looks for Jared’s name.  He finds it and sends a text.

 

             Danni and I are over, we just broke up.  See you in the morning.

Jensen slides his body up the door and in a haze of grief, walks himself towards the bedroom, and cries himself to sleep, missing Jared’s text message back.


	2. Chapter Two

Jared – POV

 

                 Jen, sorry, we will talk about it tomorrow. 

 

Jared frowns, since he knows what emotions must be running through Jensen, but then smiles knowing things will heal and get better, one day at a time.

Jared awakes to the sound of his alarm clock and rolls over to turn it off.  He looks at the clock and grabs his cell phone in haste.  Jared goes to the messages on his IPhone and looks for Jensen’s name.  He re-reads the message again.

 

                Danni and I are over, we just broke up.  See you in the morning. 

 

Closing his eyes, Jared takes a deep breath.  He knows just how much Jensen is hurting; he has always been truly, madly, deeply in love with Danneel.  He understands the feeling all too well, since he knows how it feels to have your heart broken. 

Jared can remember the day that he and Genevieve broke up after the last episode of season seven.  While sitting in bed with his head leaning against the headboard Jared allows himself to relive that moment in time. 

_Jared sat in his trailer, eating lunch.  He wanted some space and time to think.  His relationship with Genevieve was heading in the same direction as his relationship with Sandy had gone.  Their relationship was based on lies: no love for one another, and the wanting of someone else to be in his arms.  Jared needed to be true to himself and let Genevieve know the truth about how he felt.  He had been deceiving Gen by pretending that he could continue in this relationship.  He needed to admit this relationship was over and not hide the fact that he had feelings for someone else.  Jared can’t change the past, and he can’t undo the lies he told.  He remembered when their relationship first started and how in love they were.  So strong and passionate with each other, but as time had passed the feelings changed for her.  He began to recognize his feelings for Genevieve were no longer love and more like a friend.  So Jared needed to meet with Gen and finally release her from the hogwash, out of respect for her and himself._

_Jared invited Genevieve to lunch at The Grill so they could discuss their relationship, though they were engaged.  The Grill was their favorite restaurant, a place where they could remember their country roots.  The Grill was built out of logs like a log cabin with dim lighting for a romantic feel.  There was a large fireplace set near the bar when you walked into the front doors.  A bear head and a deer head hung on a wall, and every thirty minutes or so, they shared stories about the country-side.  Each table was square, made out of logwood, and had a checker tablecloth of red and white.  The chairs were each carved from a large tree trunk to look more like a stool.  Jared and Genevieve would always sit near the photograph of a large Moose seen in a Maine forest during Fall._

_Genevieve entered the restaurant and grabbed their usual spot at the Grill.  Jared watched her for a few moments.  He felt guilty for the fallacies that had been prevalent in their relationship.  As Jared walked towards the table, he suddenly felt a strong surge of anxiety about how the discussion will go and how things might end.  Jared sat at the table and Gen turned to look at him with sadness and relief knowing that this will be the moment everything bottled up inside of them will finally come out.  Jared smiled shyly as if he knew in his heart that Genevieve had always known the truth._

_After a few minutes of looking over the menu, they placed their order.  Jared got the steak and mashed potatoes with broccoli, while Gen ordered the grilled chicken orange salad.  Jared ordered a nice and smooth red wine to go with their dinner._

_Jared found himself playing nervously with his napkin._

_Genevieve spoke up, “Jared, what did you want to talk about?”_

_Jared took a slow, deep breath to muster his strength.  One truth, he had never admitted to anyone but Jensen, was about his sexuality.  He had only come to the realization himself a few months ago during one of Chad’s visits, and it was the reason why he felt it so important to come clean now._

_“I wanted to talk about us, Gen; it’s not working.  I think you know that.  I haven’t exactly been honest with you.  I thought I could live with it, but I can’t.  I – I’m gay,” he admitted, relieved to finally tell her the truth.  “I’m sorry. I can’t marry you.  It wasn’t anything you did.  I just fell in love with someone else.”  He only prayed they could deal with it in a respectful way._

_Jared was relieved that now he would be able to be himself with her for the first time in a long time._

_Jared watched her as a flood of emotions flowed across her face.  Gen looked at Jared with anger and betrayal in her eyes as she took in what he just shared with her.  Her eyes filled with tears, but she simply nodded.  She stood from the table and walked towards the moose photograph to compose herself.  After a few moments, she returned, sitting with her hands gripping the ends of the table for security and control._

_“What do you mean you are in love with someone else?  I thought we were strong and having a great time…I guess I was wrong.  I cannot believe you’re doing this.  But I understand what you are saying.  I am very upset that things with us cannot work out, but I hope that someday you can tell this person how much you care and love them.”_

_Jared just sat there frozen in time not knowing what to say or do after hearing her words, but knowing that they were the truth.  Jared wished he could work things out but deep down in his heart he was in love with Jensen.  Jared could sense that Genevieve was not done speaking._

_“Looking back at some of the memories we’ve shared, Jared, I can’t deny that there was dishonesty in our relationship.  I remember when we planned a trip to Florida and you told me our reservations were booked and I believed you…until I got a call from the Hotel saying the reservation wasn’t put down yet.  I remember when I surprised you at a convention just to be with you.  The look on your face was surprised, shocked, and anxious, not happy, excited, or thrilled to see me as I had expected.  I just put it aside and pushed it deep down within my heart and told myself that I was misreading your emotions and body language.  But sadly, deep down after coming to terms with the discrepancies I knew some day one of us would get the courage to admit the truth.”_

_“Genevieve, I also remember those times and I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for not following through with the plans we made.  I realize now that I should have had more respect for you and our relationship, and I apologize.  I will have to come to terms with that.  We had great times together, like going to the beach in Florida and relaxing in the sun.  Riding our bikes, side by side, on the Kangaroo Trail in Vancouver; laughing with the wind in our hair.  Never forget those memories, they weren’t a lie, they were real.  Never forget them, I know I won’t.”_

_Jared stood up, standing in front of Genevieve now after they expressed their feelings that they had pushed down deep within their hearts.  Gen and Jared looked at each other, at terms, with what was shared.  They hugged and Jared watched Genevieve walk away.  As she turned around Jared could see tears falling down her cheeks.  After Genevieve left the restaurant, Jared felt relieved it was out in the open._

_Once Jared came down from his emotions regarding what took place with Gen, Jared slumped into his chair at the restaurant and just sat there.  At a loss as what to do next, Jared just sat there staring at the moose photograph deciding what to do.  Then the bear head started to share a fact about the countryside. **“The meadow fields are filled with wild flowers of yellow and white daffodils.”**_

_About an hour after the break up Jared finally left the restaurant.  He got into his car and started to drive around still high on what happened back at the restaurant with Gen.  He just knew that he felt much better now to know the truth was out there and she knew.  He finally decided to call Jensen on his cell hoping he would answer._

_After the fourth ring, Jensen answered his phone with sleepiness coming through, “Hey Jay, what’s up?”_

_“Hey, sorry to call so late, but Gen and I just broke up, and I was wondering if I could stay the night at your place.”_

_“Sure Jay, we can have a beer or two and you can tell me what happened.”_

_“Thanks man, this means a lot.”_

_Jared arrived at Jensen’s house about a half an hour later._

 

Jared takes a deep breath after the memory and knows Jensen will need his support.  He hopes for the best and is scared about the thought of sharing his feelings with Jensen.  Jared hopes his friend doesn’t hit rock bottom.  He will support his friend through this challenging time.

Jared picks up the phone that is sitting on the end table, charging.  He searches and dials Eric’s number.

“Hey, Eric, I’m calling myself and Jensen out for the rest of the week.  Jensen is not emotionally able to perform to his high expectations at this time.”

“Hey, Jared, I can respect that, though I’m not happy about having production delayed for a week.  Did Jensen and Danni break up?”

Jared doesn’t want to answer Eric’s question, but knows he should.

“Yes, Eric, they did, last night.  I know from experience that Jensen will not be up for working at least for a week.”

“I understand, Jared.  Send my regards to Jensen.” 

Jared hangs up the phone.  He searches for Jensen’s number to text him.

             Hey man.  Called us out for the week.  I’ll be over later this morning.

<~~~~>

 

Jared eats a quick breakfast before he takes a shower. 

Jared waits for the right temperature before he steps into the shower.  When he is in the shower, his thoughts go to Jensen, wondering how he is making out at this hour.  Jared quickly finishes up in the shower and heads to his bedroom to get dressed. 

As Jared is pulling on his shirt, his phone vibrates to indicate he received a text message.  He reaches over to the nightstand and grabs his phone.

Once he pushes the button, he sees Jensen’s name and opens the message to read.

                  Jay, come quick.  I need you.

Jared’s heart sinks into his gut.   ** _Shit._**   He needs to get there soon and encourage Jensen to keep going on in life and that he will find love again.  Jared will not let one person in the world push his best friend into a deep dark black hole just because this person no longer loves Jensen the way he should be loved.

Jared wants to be there for his friend and help him out of this.   ** _I hope I get through to him and show him how to love again.  This sucks because I love him._**

Trying not to think about his feelings for his best friend, he needs to get his body in gear to go check in on Jensen.  He grabs his coat and keys and heads towards his black truck that is sitting in the garage. 

Once he gets on the main road his mind just wanders as he drives through the back roads to Jensen’s house.  He can see the house from the road and can tell that the lights are off inside.  Sighing, he pulls the truck into the driveway and parks.  Sitting there, he is unsure what to do and what awaits him inside the house.

Jared waits minutes that feel like hours before he pushes open the truck door and heads up to the house.

Jared reaches down into the brick box that sits under the doorbell and grabs the house key.  He pushes the key into the lock and turns it.  Jared takes a deep breath, turns the knob and walks into the house.  As he is closing the door behind him, Jared hears the sound of pattering of feet heading his way.  Jared greets Icarus with a whole body scratch that eases the dog. 

Jared walks towards the sliding doors to let Icarus out to run around outside and relax from the tension of sadness he can feel beating through the house.  Jared turns to go in search of Jensen when his senses can smell the strong odor of liquor coming from the couch.  **_Fuck!_**  

Jared rushes towards the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee that will arouse Jensen from his drunken, depressed state of mind. 

The coffee is brewing and Jared hears groaning and moaning coming from the living room, knowing Jensen can smell the strong pot brewing. 

Jensen pads into the kitchen, stretches, as he looks up to see his best friend.  Their eyes lock, full of emotion with clear understanding of what came to pass. 

Jared can see Jensen’s been crying throughout the night while drowning himself in liquor to help him sleep.  His eyes are red and blood shot and his shoulders slump with defeat.  Jared walks up to Jensen and bear hugs him as tight as he possibly can. 

Jensen starts to cry into Jared’s shoulder uncontrollably and Jared tightens his hold.  Jared completely understands the hurt emotion that is affecting Jensen at this moment. 

 

<~~~~>

 

Once Jensen stops crying and shuddering in Jared’s arms, Jared asks Jensen to sit at the table, have some coffee and talk about what happened between him and Danneel.

Jensen looks up at Jared with so much sensitivity that Jared wonders will his friend be able to tell the story he just experienced. 

He grabs each of them a coffee mug and pours the hot brown liquid into each mug.  Jared goes to the fridge and takes out the milk to add to his coffee.  He puts away the milk.  When he turns to hand Jensen his coffee, he notices Jensen is just staring back at him, not really seeing him.

Jared thinks, **_God, it’s worse than I thought._**

Jensen wraps his hands around the mug and takes a sip, moaning at the delicious hot liquid in his mouth.  

Jensen places the cup back on the table.  Looking up at Jared, he sees the hope in his eyes.  He feels his chest tighten, knowing that things will get better, but right now, it’s like the end of the world.

 “Jen, are you okay? Can you tell me what happened?”

“Jare, she broke it off with me.  I thought everything was going well.”

“Really?  You thought things were going well?”  Jared sighs as he bites his bottom lip knowing that Jensen hates to talk about his feelings.

Jared can see Jensen sit back farther into his chair, take a deep sigh, and shake his head.

“No, I thought things have been off for some time now, but I never wanted to admit to myself that sooner or later it would come down like this.” 

Tentatively Jared reaches across the table to place his hand on top of Jensen’s.  Jensen looks into Jared’s eyes and sees support, encouragement, and friendship through the connection.  Jensen laces their fingers together and squeezes his hand.  Trying to search for the strength he needs to get through this conversation with Jared.

Jensen breaks his connection with Jared and heads towards the liquor cabinet.  He grabs the tequila and pours it into another coffee mug and pours coffee into the mug as well. 

Jared stares at his friend with concern.  Jared sighs and finds his voice.  “Jen.  Do you think you really need that?”

Jensen turns around with anger in his eyes, his nostrils flaring, and his fist clutching at his side.  He is surprised that Jared is asking him that when he knows where his mind set is right now.  Jensen wills himself to calm and relax to answer Jared’s question.

Jensen’s voice is shaking with fear at how far down he is.  “Yes, Jared, I do.” Jensen croaks.  The tears are weighing heavily in his eyes until they are streaming down his face.

Jared gets up from his chair and embraces Jensen.  He hates to see Jensen so broken and hurt but he knows that drowning his sorrows with tequila is not going to help him in any way to get over this and move on.  Jared is afraid to tell Jensen that he doesn’t need the liquor.  He’s worried it will make things worse for Jensen and that Jensen will just sneak around behind Jared’s back to drink it when Jared’s asleep or if he’s left the house for some reason.

“Jen, first off, the liquor will help numb the pain, but it won’t fix how you feel and deal with this situation.  Take it from me.  I’ve been in your shoes.”

“Jared, I know, I just need it right now.  Help calm my nerves.”

Out of the corner of his eyes Jared notices Icarus walking towards them and rubbing up against Jensen’s legs offering comfort as best as the dog can for his owner.

Jared watches Jensen scratch behind his ears and sigh a few times trying to hold back the tears that want to resurface to the forefront. 

Jensen sits back in the chair, places his elbows on the table, and cradles his face in his hands, mumbling…”she loves someone else.”  And finally breaks down.

Jared gets up and wraps his arm around Jensen’s shoulders and just holds him as Jensen releases the main and number one reason for his heartache. 

Jared feels him relax under his arm and rubs his back in reassurance that things will work out in the end whether Jensen believes that at this time.

“Jen, you will love again.  Give it time.  Just keep your heart open to be loved again.”  Jared whispers into Jensen’s ear while comforting his best friend.


	3. Chapter Three

Jared – POV

 

The week is just about over and they will be going back to work to continue on the final season of Supernatural.  Jared watches his best friend add liquor to his morning cup of coffee.  He knows Jensen doesn’t need the alcohol but it seems to calm his nerves down at the start of the day.  Along with Jensen’s cup of coffee are his Newport cigarettes, which Jensen only smokes socially amongst his friends. 

Jensen’s appetite has increased throughout the week and he has gained some weight, mostly in his face and abdomen.  It hurts to see the changes happening with Jensen, but it could be worse.   The only thing that Jared can’t change is how Jensen really feels about finding someone new to love and to love him back. 

Jared has always felt that his connection to Jensen is deeper than friendship, even romantic, before his breakup with Genevieve.  Jared remembers telling Jensen that before the break up with Genevieve, he discovered that he was attracted to men.  Jared knows how supportive Jensen was regarding this information and never judged him for being gay in the long run.  Jared watches Jensen serve himself breakfast as he takes the time to relive that moment with Jensen.

_Jared called Jensen up on a Saturday afternoon after his adventurous evening with Chad, his crazy and douchebag of a friend from_ House of Wax _.  He loves Chad but sometimes the bar scene can be a bit too much.  Though the thing that has his mind racing is the fact that there were men hitting on him at the bar.  It surprised him when he felt flattered by their attention.  It gave Jared this weird happy feeling inside that a man had the ability to turn him on.  It took his breath away when one man asked Jared to dance with him.  They both bumped and grinded against each other and Jared was amazed at how his erection hardened on the dance floor.  Jared smiled at the thought and comfortable enough with himself to accept he is attracted to men.  He had the urge to share this revelation with someone and he thought of Jensen, his best friend in the whole world.  Jared wondered how the realization of emotion would be if Jensen felt the same in return.  Their friendship had always been one of a kind and Jared would not change it for the world.  He just hoped that Jensen would support him and maybe something more could come out of it for the both of them.  Jared always had this gut feeling that Jensen was afraid to admit the truth about his sexuality because of his strict upbringing._  
  
"Hey Jen.  Can we talk and have a few beers?"  
  
"Sure Jared.  Everything ok?"  
  
"Yeah, just something important I would like to share with you."  
  
"Not a problem.  I’ll have the beers ready."  
  
Jared arrived at Jensen's house and walked right on in.  He headed towards the living room where he could hear the sound from the television.   Jensen was on the couch; two beer bottles were on the end table.    
  
Jared grabbed a beer and sat on the couch and quietly watched the rest of Die Hard.  
  
Jensen turned off the TV and turned to face Jared.   
  
"What did you want to talk about?"  Jensen asked.  
  
"Last night, at the bar, I – I realized that – um – I’m attracted to men.  I like men."  Jared said it in a rush like he was afraid what Jensen might do. 

_Jensen looked shocked, then he shook his head in acknowledgement at Jared’s words, Jared felt relieved that he told his best friend, and he supported him._

_“Dude, that’s awesome.  I wish you the best.  I will support you all the way.” Jensen said with concern._

_Jared was pleased to know Jensen would support him though this and sensed the concern written on his friend’s face._

_“Jay, what – what about Gen?”_

_Blushing slightly, it dawned on him, he would have to talk with Genevieve about this somehow, though Jared had no clue how or when that would take place._

_“Um – I’ll have to tell her.  Shit!  What am I going to tell her?”  He panicked about what that means for him and Gen._

_“Hey, I’m here for you when it happens.” Jensen said and Jared relaxed.  Jensen’s hand tapped his leg in reassurance._

 

Jared has a smirk on his face when Jensen turns around to join him at the kitchen table with a full plate of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon.  Oblivious, Jensen sits and dives right in.  Shaking his head, Jared leans back into his chair.

“Jen, do you really need all that food?”  Jared says, trying to be sensitive without hurting his friend or mentioning that he has gained weight.

“Yes, I do, Jared.  What’s wrong with the amount of food?” Jensen says staring daggers at Jared.

“Jensen, I think you need to watch the food intake.  It increased this week.”  Jared says, trying to avoid the whole situation regarding the weight gain.

Jensen swallows the mouthful and looks at Jared with accusations and hurt written all over his face.

“Jared, what are you trying to say?”

“Jensen, it’s time to get back into your workout routine.  Get back to your normal portion sizes.  It’s not healthy, man.” Jared says.  His heart flutters happily, he watches Jensen push the plate of food across the table with a trembling hand.

“Jared, I - I don’t know how.  All I think about is alcohol and how it’s numbing.  Food is my happy place, right now.  God, how will I move on?”  Jensen says, tears in his eyes.  When he blinks, the tears roll down his cheek. 

Jared just wants to wipe away the tears with his thumbs while his hands cradle Jensen’s face, but he’s unsure if Jensen would allow it.

 

<~~~~>

 

Jared continues to watch Jensen increase the amount of liquor, smokes, and food he’s consuming.  He is at a loss at how to help his friend overcome his pain and fear of being hurt again.  Jared wishes Jensen would open his eyes, really look at him, and see Jared is what Jensen needs. 

Jared knows Jensen is in a scary place right now and will soon realize that drinking, smoking, and eating are not the answer to make it better.  Jared has been watching Jensen since before the big break up.  He’s seen Jensen struggling with his self-identity and with what he wants out of life.  Jared also has this strange notion that Jensen is trying to show interest and subtle hints towards Jared in a way that would not be noticed by others. 

Jared watches Jensen get his things together before he gets ready for bed.  Jensen is wearing his gray sweat pants that sit low on his waist and a white T-shirt so see-through that he should just throw it away.  His wire rimmed eyeglasses perch on his nose and he’s sitting on the couch with a script in his hands.  There is a bottle of beer and a shot of vodka on the coffee table in front of him.  Jensen occasionally uses the pen tucked behind his ear to make notes regarding an emotional or difficult scene.  He blinks his eyes and presses his lips together in deep thought as if the light bulb finally turned on.  He picks up the beer, lifts it to his lips, slowly tips it back and takes a sip.  He brings the bottle down slowly while Jared watches his Adam’s apple bob up and down while he swallows the golden liquid.  Jensen places the bottle down on the end table and looks up at Jared. 

Jared is looking at him with concern and worry.  Jared can sense Jensen is heartbroken over the breakup and at a loss of what to do with himself.  He can see the change in Jensen’s body language, the worry he is putting himself through for coming to terms in his own way about the breakup.  Jared turns, seeing Jensen smile shyly at him, hopes his eyes express, understanding knowledge, of what he is going through at the moment.  There is an unfamiliar, emotion, bubbling up in the room, the feeling of caring for each other than simple friends ought to.

Jared smiles back at Jensen and nods his head slightly, indicating that he got Jensen’s unspoken message.  Jared gets this warm flip-flop feeling in his gut that Jensen is letting himself be his true self at this very moment.  Jared can see that it slightly freaks Jensen out regarding this new thought. 

Jared watches Jensen get up and take the beer bottle and shot with him towards the sink.  Jared looks on in amusement as to what Jensen will do with the one thing that is getting him through this break up. 

Jensen stands in front of the sink with this look of wonder and confusion as what he should do next.  Jensen takes both hands and pours the liquor down the drain and watches with realization that things will get better slowly but surely.

Jensen turns around and looks at Jared with defeat and sadness.

“Hey Jared.  I’m sorry.”He says, exhaustion taking a toll on him.

Jared can see the wetness in his eyes and Jensen walks up to him and brings him into a hug. 

Jared holds on to him, never wants to let him go, feeling the relief wash over Jensen.  He doesn’t know what comes over him, but he tentatively moves his hand up and down Jensen’s back, in a comforting way.

Jared holds on as tight as Jensen does and finds comfort in the hug.  He is happy that he is able to help and support his friend overcome this darkness in his life.  Jared feels a soft moan rising up in his throat trying to break free, but holds it in afraid it could scare off Jensen, with what it could mean between them.  Jared knows for sure that expressing his feelings for Jensen now would only freak Jensen out in the long run.  Despite the fact that Jensen is comforting him, compared to the other way around.  It’s nice to know that Jensen, in this one moment of time, is in some way expressing his feelings through touch.

 

<~~~~>

 

As the months roll on, Jared continues to watch Jensen add some liquor to his morning coffee but only a small amount.  Jensen continues to smoke along with his coffee, but only in the morning. 

Jared just worries because Jensen’s appetite is the only matter that hasn’t changed over the last few months.  He still eats more than his fair share and Jared helplessly watches the weight pack on Jensen’s once well-muscled, sculpted body.  It angers Jared to his core that he is not able to get through to Jensen that he needs to get back on his workout routine and cut back on the portion sizes he is scooping onto his plate.  It wouldn’t hurt him to lay of the junk food as well.  When Jensen gets home, he makes a three-scoop sundae with hot fudge, caramel sauce, whipped cream, and four cherries on top.  At work during lunch time, Jensen is more likely to choose carbs, like white breads, pizza, and anything pasta-related.   It’s all about the comfort food for Jensen.

Jared wonders how he should bring it up to Jensen that the weight he has gained is not very healthy and many health issues can arise with all the extra added weight to his body frame.  Jensen needs to be careful that the producers won’t notice the change that is occurring right in front of them. 

Watching Jensen in the dressing room getting ready to be Dean, he sees Jensen struggle to button up his favorite faded blue jeans.  Jensen sighs deeply in frustration until he finally gets his pants buttoned.  Jensen grabs his plaid shirt and takes a deep sharp breath in because the arms and body of the shirt fit tightly on his body compared to a loose, comfortable fit.  Jensen just shakes his head with frustration. 

Jared waits for the right moment to clap Jensen on the shoulder and squeeze it gently.

Jensen looks up at Jared, locking their eyes.  Jensen takes a deep breath and pushes it out slowly.

“Jared, I can’t fit in Dean’s, well, my clothes.  God, look at me, what have I done to myself?”  He growls, while shoving his hands through his hair.

“Jensen, I know. It’ll be okay.  Let’s start up a workout routine and slowly cut back on the carbs,” Jared says, determined to show Jensen his full support.  Jared is eager to help his friend get back to his old self again, and regain his self-confidence and joyful life.

Jared pauses to see how Jensen will react to that.  Jared sees a look of understanding slowly creep over Jensen’s face, as Jensen nods his head in agreement.  Jared smiles because he notices that Jensen’s cheeks are pink with a hint of embarrassment.

Jared continues to squeeze Jensen’s shoulder to reassure him that in the end things will get easier and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Jensen wraps his arms around Jared’s warm and inviting body.  He trembles and shivers in Jared’s arms.  Jensen leans his body back to show Jared that he is ready to be released.  Jensen looks up with hope, determination, faith, love, and some of that self-confidence he lost all those months ago to some girl that truly never loved Jensen the way he deserved to be loved.

Jensen steps back and puts on a smile that has not appeared on his beautiful face in some time.

In that moment Jared feels their connection rekindle and he finds the determined, strength from his friend, that what he’s about to share his deepest thoughts with Jared.

“Jared, please help me.  I can’t believe I did this to myself.  God, I have great friends and family, look at what I have done to them.  I am sorry for making you worry so much about me.  Thank you for being there and helping me see the light, even though I didn’t want to see it.  It’s like I needed proof that I let myself go to shit and not care about myself.  I do care!  I want to get better. I want to stop smoking and drinking.  I need to take better care of myself, I must have put on like 30 pounds in 6 months.  I like the workout routine, I could really use a pick me up.  And as for finding love, I will find it, when the moment is right for me to have it again.”

Jared stands there looking at Jensen with confidence, determination, and support to help his best friend find his balance and core that is Jensen Ackles.  Jensen is the only person in the world he loves with all his heart.  Jared hopes in the near future, Jensen will know about his love for him.  Jared can see that he is clearly oblivious to it.

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen takes a deep, sharp breath in, and blushes at the thought and knowledge he is seeing in Jared’s demeanor that things are looking up from here.  He can’t quite recognize all the emotions Jared is expressing to him but understands that Jared truly does love and care for him and only has his best interests at heart.

Standing in front of Jared like this, Jensen feels open and vulnerable, though he also feels safe, comfortable, and more connected to Jared than he thought was possible.  Jensen knows that Jared has gone through a similar breakup and he supported Jared’s climb out of the dark hole that was trying to swallow him up.  Sadly Jensen can finally see the here and now that Jared is trying to make him see what the break up toll is doing to him physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Jensen feels a warm, bubbly sensation, deep within him that he never thought possible with Jared until now.  Jensen gets these butterflies in his belly when Jared holds him in his arms because Jensen can’t take the overwhelming emotions that rack through his body.  The touch is nice, relaxing, and comfortable; a touch he isn’t sure that he should be experiencing with his best friend.

Jensen has always thought there was something more to their friendship but he just can’t pinpoint what it could be or mean for the both of them. 

Jensen’s heart races when he gets too close to Jared, even when filming.  The need to be close to Jared, and within touching distance seems to drive him.  He always feels more relaxed when Jared is nearby.  Jensen blushes when Jared makes comments, positive feedback regarding a scene, or even a small look or gesture in his direction and it makes him wriggle in his pants.  Jensen feels that Jared understands what is going on between them though he is reluctant to share with him.  It’s as if Jared is waiting for Jensen to discover it for himself.

Jensen understands some of the feelings he has for Jared, though it scares him because he has never acted on any of his bisexual urges.  Jensen has always had some hope and faith that he would get the courage and ask Jared out whether Jared liked men or not.    Jensen feels a deeper connection with Jared that has strengthen their bond and friendship.  The love they have for one another is blinding that neither one of them wants things between them to change.  Jensen can’t seem to understand why Jared would fall for him, though he knows why he could fall for Jared.

 

<~~~~>

Jared – POV

 

Jared squeezes Jensen’s shoulder again with a smile on his face as he watches Jensen blush at the intimate moment between them.  Jared hopes the message got across to Jensen that things will work out in the end and that the “true” Jensen can finally come out and play and be happy with his choices in life.

Jared feels his own face blush at the thought and hopes Jensen sees what he does to him even if Jensen is just opening his eyes for the first time.  He is excited to watch Jensen turn his life around and finally go after all his hopes and dreams, even if those dreams were always in front of their faces the whole time. 


	4. Chapter Four

Jared – POV

 

Jared sits in his actor’s chair, watching his best friend finish his final solo scenes for filming of Supernatural.  He is glad to know the long hours, emotional draining scenes, and hard work is coming to an end.  After the final scene is shot and Supernatural wraps-up, there will be a celebration of nine wonderful years of Supernatural with the whole cast and crew. 

Jared’s greatest gift will be spending time with his best friend in Portland, Maine, for a wonderful, well-deserved, relaxing vacation.  Jared and Jensen made plans for some guy-bonding before either one of them starts a new project.  Jared is hoping to use the time to reminisce with Jensen over some of the amazing memories they’ve shared over the years.  He can finally see Jensen back to his old self again since his break up with Danni.  Jared is proud of the accomplishments Jensen has made to stop smoking completely, stop drinking except for social interactions, and lose the weight he put on due to the break up.  Jensen is in the best shape of his life.  Jared is impressed with Jensen’s efforts.   

Since Jared’s public breakup with Gen two years ago, he’s spent most of his time with Jensen.  It will be refreshing to have this vacation with Jensen where they can make new memories.  Jared knows Jensen could use a relaxing trip away from others as well.  He has seen Jensen struggle deep within his heart to come to terms with the split after all the time has passed, and sees the sparkle in Jensen’s eyes returning finally.  He is grateful to see his friend come to terms with his emotions and knows that Jensen will love again. 

Jared is excited about the trip, but he’s also nervous, because he wants to share his true feelings with Jensen.  He is afraid of how Jensen will react to the information he has been falling in love with Jensen since before his split with Genevieve.  Jared suspects that Jensen likes men as well, but keeps it a secret and hidden deep within himself.  Over the last few months, Jensen seems to blush, making his freckles stand out, over the simplest touch, such as when their fingers brush passing a plate or the remote.  Just calling Jensen’s name seems to cause the color to rise in the man’s cheeks.  Maybe with all the recent changes in Jensen’s life and the friendly support, he’s had more confidence to find his way out of his shell.  Jared is proud of Jensen and is hopeful that their relationship is strong enough to survive the revelation of his feelings for Jensen. 

Jared makes reservations at a special getaway that has many outdoor adventures and trails very similar to the countryside back in Texas.  Hoping for a future together, Jared hopes Jensen’s enjoyment of the vacation leads him to be comfortable enough with himself to express his own feelings and stop denying what he wants out of life.

 

<~~~~>

 

After a small lunch break, Jared goes to sit back in his actor’s chair to watch his best friend complete his final scene for the last episode of Supernatural.  Jared watches Jensen with pride knowing Jensen will pull out all the big guns for his final scene on the show.  Jensen will be focusing on the intricate details of his performance.

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen hates the emotional scenes.  He has a hard time separating Dean from himself when the extreme emotions are in his headspace.

Jensen goes to Jared, who helps him relax from the rollercoaster of emotions by using the breathing techniques and massages Jared taught him.

Jensen feels blessed to have had Jared around for the last year.  Ever since Jensen and Danneel broke up, Jensen has been focused on making the final season the best one in Supernatural history.  Feeling depressed and overwhelmed, Jensen has completely relied on Jared and work to help him get back on his feet.

 

<~~~~>

 

Jensen walks towards Jared who is staring out into space.  Jensen places his hand on Jared’s shoulder and shakes him gently.

“Jared, wake up.  It’s time to pack up for our trip.”

“Sorry, Jen, I was daydreaming, can’t wait to relax!”

Jensen waits for Jared to stand and head towards Jensen’s trailer to relax and have a few beers to unwind from the emotions of their careers on Supernatural.

Inside the trailer, Jensen plops down on the couch with a sigh of relief as he sinks into the soft cushions.  As Jensen closes his eyes, he feels Jared take a seat next to him and place his boots on the cherry colored coffee table with a thud.  Jensen takes off his work boots and places his feet with Jared’s on the hand-made wooden stained table created by their friend, Steve.

Jensen takes the remote that is sitting on the matching cherry colored end table and turns it on to the Maverick’s game.

Jensen turns to Jared and says, “Man, I can’t wait for our well-deserved vacation.  I just want to relax and take it easy for a while before I think about doing another television series.”

“I hear you on that, Jen.  Our vacation will be totally relaxing.”

“Jared, do you think I’ll ever be happy again?”Jensen says nervously, waiting patiently for Jared to respond with an honest answer; knowing that his happiness is there in his heart, but he was just scared to fully grab the happiness at his fingertips.

“Of course, you will be happy again, Jen.  Just hang on and be strong.  It just takes time and sometimes what we want is right in front of us.”

“I will, Jared. I’m trying to stay strong.”Jensen shares ashe gives Jared a squeeze on his right shoulder with a hopeful smile that it will come true.

“It will happen for you.  I will show you.”Jared says, confidently.  He wishes Jensen would understand that their friendship has been changing for the better and to open his heart for what can happen between them.

“Show me?  Sure, Jay.  Again, thanks for all the support and encouragement you’ve shown me.”

“That’s what friends do.”

Jensen listens to the way Jared says **friends** andit seems to hurt Jared in a way.  Jared meant it, but it sounded like he wishes to say something more meaningful to Jensen.  Even Jared’s body language changes and tenses up.

“Hey, Jen, let me give you a massage to get your mind off of it **.”**   Jared says and Jensen can tell Jared wants to change the subject.

“Thanks, Jared, that would be helpful.”

Jensen watches Jared get off the couch and walk around towards the back of the couch.  Jared places his large, strong hands on Jensen’s shoulders, and does magic with his fingers.

As Jared kneads Jensen’s muscles and gets the knots out of his shoulders, Jensen feels at ease and relaxes.  His head falls backwards against the couch and he moans aloud.  He closes his eyes as he battles the confusion of sweet arousal from Jared’s touch alone.  Jensen’s breathing picks up pace and hopes Jared doesn’t notice too much because he’s not ready to deal with his desire for Jared.

Jared continues to massage his shoulders and moves to the nape of Jensen’s neck.  Jensen’s head slumps to the side as he slips into a nice daze of relaxation.  Jensen notices his breathing is slowly coming back to normal as he keeps himself contained with Jared massaging his shoulders with mixed excitement running through Jensen’s body.

Jared continues to massage his neck; he places his large hands on either side of Jensen’s head and pulls it gently back against the couch.  Jensen feels Jared’s long fingers on his scalp, kneading his mind, which is reaching overactive levels trying to sort his confusing feelings for Jared.  Jensen has been trying to make sense of these feelings he harbors and how to overcome any difficulties they might cause in their friendship.  Jensen closes his eyes again and falls asleep while Jared continues to massage his scalp.

<~~~~>

Jared – POV

 

 

Once Jensen feel into a peaceful sleep, Jared found himself sitting at the small kitchen table and not so reluctantly admiring the way Jensen’s neck looked all exposed and inviting.  He fought the impulse to go back over there and breathe in Jensen’s musk.  It was taking every ounce of his waning willpower to stay seated.

Jensen is his best friend; his one fear of sharing the truth is ripping his heart into pieces by keeping his profound love to himself.  This is why Jared is relieved Jensen agreed with the vacation and time together in Maine.  Jared hopes Jensen will have the courage to express his true feelings with him on some of the adventures they will be having together.  It’s hard to keep this fear inside and not share it with anyone that sometimes Jared wants to scream it at the top of his lungs.  Jared wishes he had the courage to walk up to Jensen and kiss him on those red plump lips.

Amazingly, Jared has not even shared this with Chad, because Jared wants to share his secret with Jensen first.  Jared wants to find a way to tell Jensen on his own.  Chad is not the best person to share secrets. 

Jared hopes this vacation will help the both of them to find the confidence to share their hearts with each other. 

 

<~~~~>

 

In the morning, Jared wakes up and lays in his bed staring at the ceiling, hoping this trip with Jensen goes well.  He just hopes Jensen understands that what they feel for each other is okay.  He doesn’t want Jensen to think that loving Jared is wrong based on Jensen’s own personal feelings regarding the topic and the Catholic faith Jensen believes in very strongly.

Jared rolls over onto his stomach and stretches all the kinks out of his back.  He looks over to the clock on the marble oak nightstand and it reads 8:30 AM in red block lettering.  He thinks to himself by this time tomorrow they will be on an airplane to Maine.  He is excited that the trip is finally here; he has never been to Maine before and neither has Jensen.  Jared will be experiencing it with Jensen and it will mean so much more.

Jared gets out of bed and heads in for a shower.  He lets the water get hot enough to help relax his aching muscles from the stunts he performs on Supernatural.  He walks into the shower and stands under the running water as it massages his head and body.  He closes his eyes and all he can think about is Jensen.  Jared can imagine what it would be like to see him naked in the shower all wet and steamy.

Jared turns around so he is facing the faucet of the shower and slides down to sit in the tub.  Jared leans his head back and can picture Jensen all hot and bothered.

_“Jensen and Jared are in the shower helping each other wash up with soap.  Jensen grabs the sponge and squeezes a generous amount of soap onto the sponge.  He uses both hands to lather the soap in to the sponge and places it on Jared’s heart.  He keeps his hand on Jared’s heart for what feels like hours before he starts moving the sponge across Jared’s chest and down towards his belly button._

_Jensen looks at Jared with intense, heated eyes, and leans forward to give a sweet and gentle kiss.  Jared returns the kiss and he can feel Jensen move the sponge to his back.  Jensen moves the sponge up and down, and starts making small circles with the sponge.  They kiss chastely which becomes more heated and passionate as Jensen continues to tease Jared with a sponge filled with soap._

_Jensen moves his head down slowly to break their kiss and slowly turns Jared around so Jared is facing the faucet of the shower.  Jensen places his hand on Jared’s chest and helps clean off the soap from his chest.  Jared can feel his shaft twitch awake the more Jensen continues to place sweet kisses against his back and moves the sponge up and down Jared’s leg.  Jensen moves the sponge to the other leg and Jared moans aloud._

_“Aww, Jen, that feels great; keep going.”_

_“I will never stop.”_

_Jensen brings his body to full height and he wraps his left arm around Jared’s chest as his right hand moves down Jared’s side and slowly moves it toward Jared’s swollen shaft.  Jensen’s hand wraps around Jared’s cock and smiles into Jared’s neck giving Jared a gentle kiss.  Jensen’s hand starts to pump Jared’s cock slowly, up and down with a slight twist to the head.  Jensen continues to pump Jared’s dick faster and harder as he suckles on Jared’s neck to leave a slight bruise of love.  Jared can feel his knees getting weak and his knees buckling from under himself and Jensen’s strong arm holding Jared up._

_“Jen, so good.  It feels so good.”_

_“I know it feels good and so hot.”_

_“Jen, you’re so hard.”_

_“Hard for you, baby.”_

_Jared can feel his balls tighten and his breathing hitch as Jared feels the pressure of release coming.  Jensen continues to pump Jared’s dick hard and fast with a twist to the mushroom head and Jared leans into Jensen as Jared’s release takes over and Jared is coming._

_“Oh, God. So good.”_

_“So good.”_

_Jensen turns Jared around and lifts his hand to his mouth and licks the come from it._

_“It tastes so good, Jared.”_

_“How good?”_

_Jared leans into kiss Jensen and pushes his tongue in to get a taste of Jensen and himself from Jensen’s mouth”_

Jared opens his eyes and he can see the steam rising up towards the ceiling.  He feels his balls tighten as he realizes what he’s really doing in the shower.  He got so lost in his daydream of Jensen that Jared began to pump his own dick hard and fast.  He continues to pump his cock hard and fast as he comes with **“Jensen”** falling from his lips.

Jared quickly grabs his sponge and squeezes some soap onto it and leathers up his body.  He rinses all of the soap off and turns off the water.  He grabs the blue towel and dries himself and uses it to pre-dry his hair.  Jared grabs his boxers and pulls them up his body and pulls his sweatpants up as well before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Jared walks towards the truck and notices one of his tires his low.  He will have to stop by the gas station to fill the tire up with air before heading to Jensen’s apartment.  Jared pulls out of the driveway and heads down the interstate towards the gas station.  He pulls up towards the air pump tank and fills the tire with the right amount of air pressure.

Jared feels his phone buzz in his pocket and pulls it out to see who left him a message.

            Jared, meet me at the cafe near my place.

Jared texts Jensen back and lets him know that he will meet Jensen there as soon as he can once Jared finishes putting air in his ti

            Okay.  I will see you there.

Jared finishes putting the right amount of air in his tire according to the tire pressure machine and heads back into his truck.  On his way to the café, Jared is trying to figure out why they were meeting up there instead of the apartment.  Unless something happened and Jensen wants more time to go over the details of their trip.  Jensen at times gets nervous when he has to travel somewhere new.

Jared arrives at the café and pulls into a parking spot in the parking lot a few blocks away from the café.  Jared has to walk a few blocks to get there but he can see Jensen’s gray truck parked by the café.   The closer Jared gets to the café he can see Jensen leaning up against the building with jeans and a blue shirt, Jared’s favorite shirt.  Jared can tell when Jensen has spotted him because Jensen stands with his arms opened wide in greeting.  A quick hug with a handclap against the back twice is their way of greeting one another.

Jared steps back and asks Jensen, “Hey, why are we meeting at the café?”

“I thought we could have some coffee while we went over the details of the trip.”

“We can do that, Jen, but I thought you would be more comfortable at home.”

“I know, but I thought I would go with my gut and go over it at the café.”  Jensen says shyly.

As Jensen finishes speaking he motions Jared with his hand to head inside and find a seat.  The waitress greets them and sits them down in a booth.  She hands a menu to each of them and Jared just thinks: **there has to be a reason why Jen wants to meet at the café?  Unless, he is trying to express his feelings in a small, subtle way, without giving any hint at his feelings for him.**

“Hey Jared, what time is our flight?” 

Jared watches his face change from calm to unsettled.  Jensen is not a fan of flying in an airplane, ever since a flight to Chicago had the plane drop their oxygen masks and dropped multiple feet downwards very quickly. 

“Our flight leaves at 8:30 AM, we should be at the airport by 6:30 AM.”

“I’ll be ready then.  Will you be picked up first?”

“Yes, Chris, he said he would drive us in.  Get me first and head to your place.”

“Great, sounds like a plan.”

The waitress comes back and Jared orders a large hazelnut latte and Jensen orders a large black coffee, like usual.  Jared looks up at Jensen and smiles, as Jared watches Jensen order himself an egg bagel breakfast sandwich with eggs, cheese, and bacon, with a side of chive cream cheese.  It amazes Jared how Jensen orders something Jared usually eats all the time at the café.  Sometimes Jared doesn’t think Jensen realizes the little things he does, like getting chive cream cheese for his breakfast sandwich.

The waitress comes back with Jensen’s food and places it right in front of him while refilling his cup of steaming black coffee.  Jared watches Jensen spread the cream cheese on the egg bagel and remakes his sandwich before picking it up and taking the first bite.  Jensen moans around the first bite and looks up at Jared with a knowing smirk at how delicious the sandwich really is.

 “Jen, is it good?” Jared says, with a knowing, mischievous smirk back at Jensen.

“Jared, this shit is the bomb.” Jensen says, with a slight blush to his cheeks.

Jensen continues to eat his sandwich with orgasmic moans and deep pleasure and Jared just sits there with his own growing blush and growing erection.  Once Jensen finishes his sandwich, he pushes the plate away and looks up and smiles with understanding that Jared is blushing in his presence.  Once Jensen finishes his sandwich, he pushes the plate away and smirks knowingly at Jared’s blushing.  Jared never thought that would happen after the breakup, but he is pleased to know that he is blushing regarding the moment.

“Jared, what do the plans entail for the week?” Jensen asks, while grinning from ear to ear.  Jared smiles back with his dimples form on his face.  The heat in Jensen’s cheeks rise up slowly, making his freckles stand out.

“Jensen, we’re going to go on a Beer Tour and try some free beer samples.  Then we are going to try kayaking on the Casco Bay.  We are going to the Wildlife Park and walk their hiking trails.  The last one is a surprise Jensen, and I hope you like it.”

“Jared, it’s going to an amazing trip to begin with.  I can already smell the country air, the bay water, and nature in all its glory.  Plus, I like surprises.” Jensen says, getting all excited.

Jared is beginning to wonder if Jensen is able to read him more than he ever thought was possible about his harboring feelings.  Jared is more nervous and anxious then anything if things between them continue to grow deeper and closer together.  Jared isn’t even concerned about the gay thing because he’s beginning to wonder if Jensen is questioning his sexuality.

“I’m very glad you are as excited about the trip as me.” Jared says, with a wide grin with dimples and a slight hint of mischief.  Jared wonders if Jensen has started to analyze their growing relationship to a place of wonderful delight for both of them.    

The waitress comes back to their table and clears the cups and plates from it while leaving the check on the table.  Jared tries to reach for is but Jensen is quicker.

“I got it, Jared.”

Jensen watches Jared tilt his head to the right and raise his eyebrows in question but nods his head in understanding.

The waitress collects her paid check and tip from Jensen and they get up from the table to walk to the front door to leave. 

Jared pushes open the door and holds it open for Jensen.  He looks down and tucks his chin into his chest as the red flush colors Jensen’s face.  Jared just smiles wide and follows Jensen to his truck.  They say goodbye and Jensen gets inside of his truck.  Jensen waved to Jared and he watches him walk to his vehicle. 

Jared watches Jensen drive down the street to his own apartment to finish getting ready for the trip.  He is excited that he will be able to share his feelings with Jensen and know that they will be able to work things out for the best.  Jared knows that Jensen is scared about accepting and understanding the emotions he is going through with his new love interest.  Jared is ready and willing to help Jensen discover love deep down, Jared got a sense that Jensen was expressing himself throughout their meeting and the battle inside his friend about loving your best friend and discovering you’re gay.  Jared has always thought Jensen was at least bisexual, but so far in the closet he would never have come to terms with it if it wasn’t for a best friend that was gay himself.  Jared hopes for the best in the sexual department as well because even though he has dated some guys he has never taken that final step.  He is hoping for that with Jensen and vice versa.

Jared starts his truck and heads home to pack for the trip and be ready for when Chris arrives to bring them to the airport.  He rides home contently.


	5. Chapter Five

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen wakes up at 4:30 AM because he needs his morning cup of coffee before heading to the airport with Jared and Chris.  Jensen has never been a morning person and being with Jared, Jensen doesn’t want to miss anything.

 Then there is the fact that he is falling for his best friend.  Jensen is scared shitless because when he stops to think about it, it’s always been there hidden by his feelings for Danni.  Once Danni was out of the picture and Jared started to help and support Jensen through it all, the feelings for Jared increased over time. 

Jensen checks his suitcase while waiting for Jared and Chris to arrive.  Jensen mentally goes through his list and breathes out a sigh of relief that he has everything he needs.

Jensen chooses to wear jeans and a T-shirt because he needs to be comfortable while on the plane.  He hates to fly ever since that Chicago flight dropped the oxygen masks and descended quickly.  Jensen was close to a nervous breakdown and was alone on the flight.  

Jensen thought long and hard last night while packing about his feelings towards Jared.  He is not afraid to be with Jared in any form or way, just afraid at what everyone’s reaction will be when he finds a way to tell them.  Jensen knows in some way how Jared felt about telling Jensen that he was gay and Jensen stood by him.  Jensen watched Jared date a few men over the last few years.  Jensen was honored to watch Jared tell Ellen DeGeneres and _People Magazine_ that he was gay and happy with his life in Hollywood and as an actor.  The fans were excited and happy to support Jared coming out and continued to watch _Supernatural_. 

Jensen hopes that this trip will help him grow closer to Jared and for him to express to Jared how he is falling in love with his best friend.  Jensen has discovered the secret of what he has been missing all along in his life.

Jensen blushes slightly thinking about Jared and wondering how obvious he has been towards Jared.  Jensen’s dark secret of falling in love with his best friend must be written all over his face.  Jensen wouldn’t be surprised that Jared already knows how Jensen feels about him.  Neither man willing to tell the other until it’s the right time to share.

Jensen hears the doorbell to his apartment and curses because Jared told him Chris was going to honk when they arrive at the house.  **Shit!**   He can’t believe Jared had to get out of the car to get him.

“Jen, are you coming?” Jared shouts through the door.

Jensen goes to open the door and finds Jared smiling ear to ear with a knowing smirk that goes right through Jensen.

“Yes, I’m coming, I got side tracked.  Ready to go.”

“Good, so am I, so let’s go.”

Jensen nods his head towards Jared and Jared picks up Jensen’s suitcase as they head towards the door.  Jensen throws his duffle bag over his right shoulder and follows Jared out to Chris’s SUV.  Jared and Jensen load the luggage into the trunk and get into the backseat.  Chris waits for them to adjust in their seats before he pulls out onto the road and heads towards the airport.

They arrive at the airport and make it through security by 7:15 AM.  Together, they have plenty of time to grab something to eat and drink at their gate, while waiting for their plane to arrive.

They sit in the chairs touching from thighs to shoulders.  Jensen can feel the heat radiate from Jared and relaxes into his seat with him by his side. 

Together they watch as the plane arrives at the gate.  They watch the night crew come off the plane to their final destination.  They wait patiently for the morning crew and pilot to arrive at the gate to board their plane to head off to their destination of Maine. 

 

<~~~~>

Jared – POV

 

Jared’s excitement kicks in full gear of wanting to board the airplane before they are able to.

Jared turns to Jensen and notices that Jensen is trembling slightly in his seat.

“Jen, are you okay?”

“Jared, the nerves are kicking in.”

“Jen, it’ll be okay.  Take deep breaths and relax.  I’ll be there with you.”

“Thanks.”

After taking a few short deep breaths to calm his nerves, Jensen starts to relax just in time to board the plane to Jared’s relief.  However, Jensen continues to tremble and take deep breaths while they wait in line.  Jared laces his fingers through Jensen’s and squeezes in an effort to reassure him everything will be fine.

Smiling, Jensen leans into him and whispers in his ear, “Thank you.”

Jared keeps a tight hold on Jensen’s hand as they walk through the covered maze from the terminal to the plane.  Once they find their seats, Jared finally let’s go so he can stow his carry-on bag in the overhead compartment before taking the seat by the window.  Jensen follows suit and sits next to him, making sure to buckle his seatbelt.

With some hesitancy to his movement, Jensen slowly reaches his hand over to lace his fingers with Jared’s again.  However, once he’s done it, there’s no shame or embarrassment.  Looking more calm and collected, he relaxes into his seat, leaning into Jared. 

Gazing out the window to hide his smile, Jared gently squeezes Jensen’s hand to express everything he wishes he could say aloud but can’t yet.  His heart is racing in his chest.  It’s a priceless moment for Jared when Jensen squeezes his hand in return.

The plane takes off and Jensen falls asleep contently holding Jared’s hand.  Happy, Jared watches Jensen while he sleeps throughout the entire plane ride.  Jared stops breathing when Jensen’s head turns and lands on his shoulder.  He can feel Jensen’s soft, easy breaths and loose fingers in his hand.  Jared is considering the raw, intimacy between them that Jared is unsure of how he should feel.

They arrive on time in Portland, Maine, and Jensen wakes as the plane is taxiing in.  Jensen notices that his head is resting on Jared’s shoulder and raises it with a smile.

“How did you sleep, Jen?”

“Like a baby.  Thank you, Jared.  It helped.” Jensen says.

“I’m glad.”  Jared states as he smiles with his dimples.

The plane gets to the gate and the passengers exit the plane.  Jared and Jensen grab their belongings and head to baggage claim to get the rest of their things. 

Jared walks towards the shuttle area, to find their blue and green shuttle van.  This van will take them to Black Point Inn, right on the coast of Casco Bay. 

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

The shuttle van arrives at Black Point Inn - A historic, grand hotel, with a lush landscape, bay views, and majestic cliffs with ever changing seascapes.  The inn has a white trim with various shades of blues and grays, to give it a historic feel to it. 

They grab their belongings from the van and Jensen tips the driver.  They walk along a historic red brick path to the main entrance.  Once inside Jensen and Jared enter the lobby, which is set in a historic atmosphere as well.  Dark oak panels and beams with cream painted walls create the lobby with a brick fireplace that’s built into the wooden wall between the wooden beams.  Red and gold rugs with a simple pattern cover the dark wood flooring of the lobby.  Simple oval sconces for lighting that give it a homey feeling of comfort and relaxation. 

Together they walk up to the concierge desk to find out their room assignment.  The concierge hands Jared the room key with the room number on it.  Room 24.  The concierge gives Jensen a map of the inn and how to get to their room. 

“Follow to the end of the lobby.  Exit the doors in front of you and head towards the right.  Its right on the end, you can’t miss it.”

“Thank you.” Jensen states as he follows Jared through the rest of the lobby.

Jensen meets up with Jared as they arrive at their room.  Jared pushes the key into the key hole to open the door.  Jensen and Jared both gasp as they enter their room to the suite overlooking the bay from their private deck.

The room has an extra-large king size bed on the right hand side of the room with an end table on either side of the bed.  The same amazing oak wood flooring with a lighter color to it.  A wardrobe in the left corner of the room between the two amazing large bay windows.   Sitting under the bay window in front of them are two ocean blue bedroom chairs with a small round table in the middle.  In the right corner of the room is a standing lamp next to the walk in closet to put their belongings in.

Jensen places his bag on the ground with a loud thump.  It didn’t register that Jared only got one bed for them.  Jensen is amazed at how Jared can read him so well.  Jensen has wanted to share with Jared about his realization of being a closeted bisexual man.  It warms Jensen’s heart that there is only one bed because it’s time to start their future together.  Jensen isn’t completely sure how he really feels about that and hopes his family and friends will accept him for who he is and who he loves. 

Walking to the window, Jared peers out over the bay.  The waves roll and crash against the cliff wall as the sun shines brightly in late the afternoon sky.  Stepping up behind him, Jensen places his chin on Jared’s shoulder and wraps his arms around his waist.  He can practically feel the barely contained excitement vibrating through his friend.

 “Thanks, Jared, for all of this.” Jensen enthusiastically states.

“You’re welcome, Jen. You deserve it.  We both deserve it.” Jared says, placing his hands on top of Jensen’s and squeezing tight. 

Jared leans into Jensen’s embrace and feels the heat of his blush rush to his cheeks.  Jensen is overwhelmed by embracing his best friend from behind by seeing Jared’s face open up like a book, releasing emotion.  Jensen feels comfortable in this moment, at recognizing the emotions Jared is letting him see without expressing words.

Jensen feels a rush of warmth spread to his heart, realizing he has already rediscovered love, in an unexpected place which is uncharted, new territory for him.  Jensen is proud of himself for expressing small hints of his feelings towards Jared that he isn’t sure he can keep inside any longer.  He imagines turning Jared so he can kiss him on the corner of his mouth.  The thought sparks an electrical shock through his body.  It sends a shiver through him while still embracing Jared up in his strong, muscular arms. 

“Jensen, I would love to stay here all night long, but it’s getting late.  Let’s head to the restaurant for dinner.”

“Sounds good to me Jared.  Ummm, yeah, me too.” Jensen sighs not ready to admit the feelings he has when it comes to Jared.

Unwrapping his arms from Jared, Jensen steps back.  He follows Jared to the restaurant that sits in the back of the inn.

The restaurant has the same feeling as the lobby.  Dark oak panels and beams with cream paint colored walls.  Oval sconce lighting and red and gold rug patterns the floor of the restaurant. 

Jensen enters the restaurant and tells the host, “Two, please.” 

The host grabs some menus and shows them to their table.  The table has a red tablecloth on it with gold trim, gold napkins, wine glasses and silverware.  The table is near a large rectangle window that shows the wonderful view of Casco Bay.

Jensen and Jared take their seats and order two beers.  Together they pick up their menus and scan through them to see what looks good to satisfy the hunger running through the growling their bellies make in unison.

Jensen and Jared both order an 8 ounce steak with mashed potatoes and broccoli. 

Simply happy to be together, they eat their meal in near silence, communicating with their eyes and facial expressions.  The waitress comes to clear the table to leave the bill.  Jared picks up the check and pays it and Jared gestures to Jensen to head back up to their room.

Jensen and Jared collapse on the large bed, fully clothed, and fall asleep to the calm and easy breathing of one another.

 

<~~~~>

 

Jensen wakes up with the feel of Jared spooned up behind him, arm around his waist, and a leg between his.  Jensen can feel Jared’s morning wood and tenses because it feels so good to be wrapped up in Jared’s arm and body.  It’s as if Jensen is finally home where he is meant to be.  Jensen is so afraid it will change things between them even though deep down in his heart he knows that Jared feels the same way towards him. 

Jensen lays awake listening to the steady beat of Jared’s heart and easy breathing.  He wonders what Jared will say when he stirs awake.  Jensen feels the intimacy between them in this moment and wonders what being in a relationship with Jared would be like.

Jensen can tell the moment Jared wakes up, he keeps his position and easy breathing, not to break this beautiful moment with him.  He realizes he isn’t freaking out with Jared’s hard cock up against his ass despite all the layers each of them have on.  Jensen admits he wants this, he wants this with Jared so much that his heart aches for it.  He knows how well they can be together and how happy they will be once he puts the broken walls down.  Jensen senses the change in Jared breathing and asks shakily.  “Are you awake?”

“Yeah, Jen, I’m awake.”

“What are we doing today?”

“We are going on a Beer tour today at 2 PM.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Jen, are we going to talk about it?”

“Talk about what? I’m fine, so comfortable and relaxed.”

“I’m glad.” Jared says.

Jensen’s breathing picks up and tries his best to hide it.  It is very difficult to hide when Jared’s arm is around his waist and his morning wood just grazes Jared’s wrist.  God, Jensen wants to shift to feel the electric shock that will send a shiver through Jensen’s body with Jared’s arm on his waist and Jared’s leg in-between his.  Jensen can feel Jared shift slightly and Jensen’s cock brushes against Jared’s arm around his waist and takes a sharp gasp that proves, he wants Jared more than he knows or wants to admit to himself.

Jared freezes at the sound.  Jensen can feel Jared’s pulse increasing and while he’s flattered that he does that to Jared, he’s not ready to deal with it.

“Jared, I’m going to take a shower.  We should head down for brunch.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jared whispers, sounding slightly hurt.

Jensen gets up slowly, without looking at Jared, grabs his clothes and heads to the bathroom.  He turns on the shower and sets it on the highest setting and quickly scrubs the negative thoughts that want to enter his mind.  He lets the water hit his back to release the tightness in his muscles.  Jensen absent-mindedly takes his right hand and wraps it around his aching throbbing dick.  He squeezes his member with enough pressure and sets a steady rhythm of pumping his cock.  When he reaches the head he adds a twist and flick of his wrist.  Jensen increases the speed of his hand and a few more strokes with a twist and he is coming with **“Jared”** on his lips.

Jensen steadies himself in the shower and quickly finishes up.  He dries himself with a towel.  Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he stares himself down.  There’s no denying what he sees.  His emotions are clearly written on his face.  He is in love with Jared.  He admits it to himself, under his breath.  Then he acknowledges it aloud, “I am in love with my best friend and I’m bisexual.”  Jensen watches the tension leave his body from admitting to himself who he truly is and coming to terms with how he feels about himself.  He knows what and how he feels towards the other man.  He needs to tell Jared and follow his heart without hesitation for the first time in his life. 


	6. Chapter Six

Jared – POV

 

Jared and Jensen wait for the bus to pick them up for the Beer Tour.  Jared is excited to try all the different flavors of beer and share it with the one he loves.  At brunch Jared is able to watch the emotions run through Jensen’s mind and face throughout the entire meal.  It warms Jared’s heart to know he can have this effect on Jensen and hopefully things will come full circle for them, the way it’s meant to be.

While waiting for the bus Jared intently focuses on Jensen moving back and forth from one foot to the other.

Jensen stops and looks up at Jared with so much emotion but hope stands out the most.

“Jared, um, I want, um, I want you to know that I’m bisexual.  And I have known for a long time.  Too afraid to admit it to myself.”

Jared locks eyes with Jensen and takes a deep breath at the admission.  Jared guessed that Jensen bisexual rather than gay.  Now he’s pleased Jensen has finally chosen to come out of the closet.

“Jensen, I’m happy that you’ve come to terms about your sexuality and how you truly feel about it.”

Jensen smiles from ear to ear that Jared has accepted him and they’re still the best of friends.  Though now he has this feeling of being pulled towards Jared in a way he never thought was possible.  Jensen is slowly getting the drift and it warms his heart the love that radiates between them is so real.  It’s what scares Jensen the most, the love between them overwhelms his heart.

When the bus finally arrives at the inn, they board it.  Jensen picks the window seat and Jared sits next to him.  Their thighs are pressed together and it sends a shiver through Jared that Jensen is comfortable with what is transpiring between them. 

The bus heads to the Beer Factory for the tour and free samples of different Sam Adams flavors, along the way.  The ride takes an hour to get to the building, which is made completely with bricks in various red hues.  The main doors are in the shape of a beer bottle with the Samuel Adams logo in the middle. 

Jared and Jensen exit the bus and head towards the main doors to wait for the tour to start and try the many samples along the way. 

The young tour guide greets them.  “Good Afternoon, Gentleman.  Welcome to the Beers Tour of Sam Adams seasonal beer samples.  Along the tour you will be able to sample the seasonal bottled beer with gourmet twisted pretzels.  Please watch your step and follow me through the beer brewery. You all will be sampling our top eight seasonal beer flavors, enjoy!”

Jared and Jensen get in line to follow the young man through the factory.  They start in a room, lined with bricks and bright lighting that sorts all the ingredients in every single beer created by Sam Adams.  Jared and Jensen watch how the workers take care of each ingredient to be sent into the next stage of brewing beer.  A worker takes all the ingredients over into the next large room that contains the large brewers for the beer. 

As they walk to the next room, they grab their first sample, Sam Adams Cold Snap.  Jared takes a sip and sighs with content.  Jensen smiles behind his bottle and moans at the first sip.  Jared takes a quick look at Jensen and sees how relaxed and happy Jensen is with him.  It brings a bubble right to Jared’s heart and he takes a risk at lacing their fingers together and gently strokes his thumb on the top of Jensen’s hand.  Jensen tensed at first, but after taking a deep breath, he relaxed to Jared’s relief.  Jared hoped he found as much comfort in the act as he did.

As they move to the next room Jared is pleased that Jensen continues to hold his hand and amazed to see the blush rise in Jensen’s face.  Feeling bold Jared leans into Jensen’s side and whispers in his ear, “So glad that we can do this together, just like this.”  Jared squeezes Jensen hand to indicate that he was talking about their joined hands. 

Jared continues to be fascinated by the growing blush of red on Jensen’s face, which really enhances the wonderful freckles that splash his face. 

They arrive at the next room and watch the workers mix the ingredients in a large container that enters the different brewers for the different flavors to be created.  It’s amazing how much time it takes for each beer to be completely brewed before being placed into bottles and put on store shelves, at least a good 12 weeks. 

As they continue to follow the tour guide, they try each seasonal sample along the way.  Jared is quite surprised and grateful that Jensen is willing to hold his hand throughout the entire tour.  He is pleased that Jensen didn’t freak out though in his gut, he knows the freak out will come at some point.  Jared wonders if Jensen thinks he doesn’t deserve this or that he does but is afraid to make a move.

Once the tour is completed, Jared and Jensen purchase a six-pack of Samuel Adams Escape Route and Porch Rocker.  After paying for their beer they wait for the bus to come back and head to the Inn. 

“Jared, is this okay?  What we’re doing?” He asks Jared with shyness and insecurity written all over his face.

“Jensen, do you think it’s okay?  And what do you think is going on?” Jared says trying to show hope and love in his eyes for Jensen to go after what he wants.

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

With some hesitation and some thinking regarding what Jensen asked Jared and what Jared asked him.  Jensen isn’t quite ready to admit that he is in love with Jared yet, but knows by the end of their getaway, he will be.  Jensen thinks long and hard about what he wants to say to Jared. 

The bus arrives and Jared watches Jensen to see his reaction and how he will respond to the questions at hand.  Jared sighs and walks towards the bus with some disappointment on his face that Jensen has a long way to go regarding this relationship.

Jensen sighs, takes a deep breath and releases it slowly.  He watches Jared head towards the bus and get on it.  Jensen shakes his head at how stupid and nervous he is over simple questions.  His feelings of not wanting to get hurt again and the insecurities he has about being in a relationship with Jared scare him more than he wants to admit.  Jensen knows for sure that he does not want to lose Jared either way, being his best friend or what he wants the most, his partner, and lover.

Jensen takes another breath and walks to the bus to sit next to Jared.  Jensen bumps his shoulder into Jared’s and presses his thigh up to Jared’s to feel the heat radiate from Jared’s body.

Jensen turns to look at Jared and their eyes lock with pure honesty and hope with the possibility of lust and want.

“Jared, it is okay.  What we are doing is okay.  I want to see what can blossom here.”  Jensen says taking a risk and places his hand on Jared’s thigh and gently squeezes it to prove that something is going on here between them.

“Jen, it’s okay for us to be doing what we’re doing.  And there is something here that will be a wonderful journey.”  Jared states with hope and to share with Jensen that he wants it as much as Jensen does.

“Okay, okay.  I just it’s all sort of new for me.”  Jensen whispers, sounding oddly shy and innocent for a man his age.

“I know, Jensen, but with my help, it’s going to be amazing!”  Jared says squeezing Jensen’s hand on his thigh and he can feel the electric shock shiver through his body. Understanding that this was a moment that just opened the door to Jensen’s heart and broke down a wall.  Jared knows there is hope through the rest of the plans during their vacation for sparks to fly between them since they are starting to show now.

 

<~~~~>

Jared - POV

 

On the third day Jared and Jensen are there, they decide to rent a two-person kayak and take it down the bay to the Portland State Park to go on a hiking trial to see the wonderful mountains at the top of the trail. 

Jared heads to the rent-a-kayak center and picks out an orange two-person kayak with two oars for them to use to steer the kayak down to their destination.  Jared and Jensen get a lesson on how to flip a kayak over if they tip over and how to steer the kayak.  Once they feel confident in taking the kayak out on the bay, each of them carry an end of the kayak down to the bay.  Jared and Jensen set the kayak down on the shore of the bay and take their positions; Jared in the back steering and Jensen in the front as the eyes. 

Together they head out onto the bay and start making their way down the bay to the state park.  Along the way, the sun’s heat beats down on Jared’s back.  Even so, he was finding it difficult to control his body’s reaction as he watched Jensen’s muscles move on each stroke with the oar.  Jared watches the way the muscles move, ripple, and tense through each follow through of the strokes Jensen makes.  He fights back a moan from escaping his mouth by biting on his bottom lip as hard as he can.

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen can feel the warm sun beat down on his back and shoulders.  He can feel the gentle breeze in the air as they make their way down the bay to the park.  The trees are in full bloom of their dark shades of green line the shore of the bay.  Oak trees, maple trees, and birch trees are full of many different creatures of birds, crows, and squirrels.  Jensen can see the acorns hanging from the oak trees and can see a squirrel taking a break and trying to eat an acorn.  Jensen can hear the beautiful music of the blue jays and red cardinal birds singing their tune amongst the trees.

Jensen can feel the heat rise to his cheeks as he can feel Jared stare into him from behind.  The more Jensen can sense Jared, he wonders what it would be like to have this relationship with his best friend.  He can feel his own cock twitch at the thought of having Jared touch him with those large, puppy dog, strong yet gentle hands.  Jensen has come to admit that he himself wants Jared as well.  Jensen can feel his heart pounding in his chest, sweat coating over his body, and his cock plumping larger at the mere thought of Jared.

 

<~~~~>

Jared – POV

 

They continue their way down the bay in the hot heat of the sun.  Jared watches as Jensen lays the oar across the kayak and pull off his T-shirt, revealing of skin and muscles, sweat, and many more freckles that probably cover Jensen’s entire body.  Jared just can’t get enough of them and wants to count them all to see how many there are on Jensen’s body.  He feels his heart race at the thought and wants to show Jensen how much he cares and loves him for just being Jensen and not someone else. 

“Hey, Jen, I can see the shore to the park.  We’re almost there and we can stop and rest.  Have a picnic lunch.”

“Jared, slow down.  We’re coming to the shore too fast.  Yes, I could use a little rest.  I’m so hot and sticky.”

“Mmmmm. I could take care of that.”

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen takes in a sharp gasps at the thought of Jared taking care of it.  Jensen can see Jared using his tongue to lick and clean all the stickiness away from his body.  He can smell the musk of Jared along his body and feels his erection getting harder and tighter in his shorts.  How on earth will he be able to get out of the kayak and eat lunch with Jared if his cock is so hard he can feel his orgasm getting closer?  Jensen is not sure how much longer he can hold in his feelings for Jared.  He wants to jump Jared and kiss him hard on the mouth with tongue and it makes him moan aloud in pure pleasure and want.

“Jensen, are you okay?”  Jared asks with a knowing smirk.

“Shit, yeah, I’m fine. Just hot and tired.  Need a break.” Jensen curses.  Shit!  He can’t believe he moaned aloud.

 

<~~~~>

Jared – POV

 

Jared can see Jensen shiver at releasing a deep moan of pure pleasure and he grins from ear to ear.

Jared slows the kayak down and together they reach the shoreline.  Jared and Jensen climb out of the kayak, stretch their muscles and pop their joints back into place.  Then they grab their belongings from the compartment in the middle.  Jared takes out two sandwiches and two bottles of water, he hands Jensen his sandwich and water.  Their fingers brush and linger against one another in passing over the items to Jensen.  Jared and Jensen eyes lock at the electric shocks racking their bodies in just a simple touch that means so much more.  Jared can feel pure lust and love coming through his expressions to Jensen and can see the same look of desire in Jensen staring back at him with intensity. 

Jared and Jensen twist and entangle their legs together under the picnic table while they eat their lunch.

“Jensen, how are you feeling?  Think you’re ready for the trail.  I can’t wait to get to the top.”

“I’m feeling fine, Jared.  Let me finish my water and we can head to the trail.  The view will be amazing.”

“It already is, Jen.”  Jared says with blushing bluntness.

Jensen finishes his water and places it in his backpack where more water bottles and snacks can be found.

Jared takes out a map of the trails and together they choose to take a moderate trail to hike up to see the mountains with snow covered tops.  Jared suggests “the white mountains trail” or “the star haven mountain trail?”  Jensen thinks about it and decides “the white mountains trail” because of the rock formations along the trail that is used to help hikers to the top.

Jared agrees and heads towards the sign the reads The White Mountain Trail: Moderate Hiking Trail.  Together, Jared and Jensen head towards the trail side by side, shoulder to shoulder, with matching grins. 

They start to reach higher levels in the trail and need to work together in order to make it to the top.  Due to the rock formations, fallen trees have created the main stairs in order to get to the top of the trail to see the mountains.  With Jensen leading the way, he comes to a large rock that he will need Jared’s help to get up in order to help Jared get up himself.  Jensen knows that he is tall but still amongst different situations he feels small.  Jensen sets himself up to grab the top edge of the rock formation and brace his booted foot onto a large, four inch high stump, to pull himself up onto the rock.  Jensen can feel Jared place his large hands, one on his back and one on his butt to push Jensen up as Jensen pulls himself up.  Jensen blushes and realizes his cock twitches at the feel of Jared’s hand on his ass.

Once Jensen reaches the top of the rock formation he tries his best to hide his blush and growing erection in his jeans.  Jensen turns around and can’t look at Jared who is staring up at him with amusement and smirking knowingly.  Jensen squats down and grabs Jared’s hand.  He pulls Jared up at the same time Jared is pushing himself towards Jensen.  As Jensen is pulling Jared up hard and Jared pushing as hard as he can to get up; the momentum of the force makes Jared land right on top of Jensen.  They both gasp and let out a groan as Jensen lands on his back on the ground with Jared on top of him.

 Jensen’s face is bright red from blushing and feels embarrassed at their positions and tries to move out from underneath Jared.  Jensen takes in a gasp at the feel of their hard cocks slightly brushing up against one another. 

Jared takes in his own gasp at the feel of Jensen moving under him and the slight touch of their cocks rubbing up against one another through their jeans.  Jared watches Jensen faces and sees pure lust, love, and hope that won’t scare Jared away from their intense sexual frustration and beating around the bush has come to a head in this moment.

The trees are in full bloom and are protecting them from the harsh heat of the sun.  The blue jays and cardinals tweet their song out into the world.   

Jared takes a risk.

Jared’s heart pounds against his rib cage.  Time to make a move.  Time to see what happens.  Jared leans forward.  He rests his forehead against Jensen’s.  He gently brushes his nose against Jensen.  Jensen gasps; he sighs.  Anticipation sparks between them like a live wire.

Jared presses his lips to Jensen lips and kisses Jensen.  Jensen moans into Jared’s mouth as Jared deepens the kiss between them.  Jared feels when Jensen parts his lips and lets Jared in to explore and taste Jensen for the first time.  It’s sweet as honey and Jensen.  Then Jared can feel the moment Jensen tries to take control of the kiss and there is teeth clashing and tongue dueling for several minutes. 

Jared continues to kiss Jensen and he’s back in control.  His hand cups Jensen’s face and turns Jensen’s head to the left.  Jared lays open mouthed kisses along Jensen’s jaw line until he reaches Jensen’s neck and kisses it, nips at it, and uses his tongue to ease the pain.

“Jared, oh, God, I didn’t know, Jared, it’s so good.”

“I know, Jen, I got you. It’s okay, I got you.”

Jared retraces his path along Jensen’s jaw line to his lips and the kiss is full of passion and lust and a new hope of something they both want, together.

Jared takes it a step further and grinds their hips together so their cocks rub against each other through the thick material of clothing.  Jared can hear Jensen hiss at the sensation and a new shade of red, colors Jensen’s face.  Jared feels Jensen push up to meet Jared to find a friction that will work to release the built up tension and lust Jared and Jensen have for one another.  Jared can sense the tightness growing in his balls and knows that he’s close to coming as Jensen’s hips become erratic in rhythm; Jared knows Jensen is close too.  Their passion and making out heat up and in the next moment their sweet bliss is there and the both of them are coming in their pants.

Jared slowly comes out of his orgasmic bliss a few minutes after coming in his pants and with Jensen overcoming his emotions of going after what he wants and loves.

“Jensen, are you okay? That was amazing!” Jared asks, locking eyes with Jensen and seeing the flushed look on Jensen’s face, knowing he did that to him.

“Jared, I never realized I could have this. Or even have this with you.  It was amazing, the best!”  Jensen says out of breath, looking Jared in the eye and trying to show him how Jensen feels for him and admitting to himself that it’s okay to have what you want.  Jensen knows at this moment that Jared is the only one for him and the one he loves with all his heart.

“Jensen, thank you. I love you, Jen.”  Jared shyly states, hoping his love shines through him for Jensen to see.

“Jared, I’m scared, but I love you too.”  Jensen nervously says, hoping Jared understands his new found feelings and to know that he truly does love Jared nonetheless. 

Jared gets up and sits down on the rock formation they were just making out on.  Jared grabs Jensen’s hand, entangles their fingers together and pulls Jensen up into his body.  He lets Jensen lean in and wraps his arm around Jensen’s waist.  Jared kisses Jensen temple and whispers in his ear, “I love you and your amazing, Jen.  We will take things slow.  Just being with you, here and now, is the best moment in my life.”

Jensen squeezes Jared’s body in reassurance knowing their journey as partners, as lovers, as boyfriends is just beginning, and Jensen is happy to be a part of it and doing it with the one person he has loved longer than he realized in the scheme of things.

 


	7. Chapter 7 & Epilogue

Jared – POV

 

Jared is happy that Jensen admitted to being in love with him and they are slowly discovering each other in a new way.  After the events on the hiking trail, Jared is pleased with Jensen’s progress learning to express feelings that might be awkward for him and opening himself to the possibility of someone loving him the way he should be – with passion, honesty, and trust. 

Jared understood the actual mechanics of a same-sex sexual relationship might be overwhelming for Jensen.  However, what he lacked in experience, he made up for in eagerness to experiment with Jared.  Jared encourages him to take it slow; they have plenty of time to explore it all with each other.

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen knows that Jared has been with other men before though he isn’t sure he wants to know how far Jared went with any of them.  Jensen and Jared are in a heavy make out session when Jensen decides to unbuckle Jared’s belt and pants. Jared took in a sharp gasp and slight moan at what Jensen was trying to accomplish. 

“Jen, you don’t have too.  When you’re ready we can.  I don’t want to push you.”

“Jare, I want to, please.  I want you to help guide me.”

“Okay Jen, I’ll help you.”  Jared says feeling overwhelmed by Jensen’s desire.

Jensen’s shaky hands undo Jared’s button and lower the zipper being careful around Jared’s hard and aching cock.  Jensen nods his head and Jared lifts his hips up and helps Jensen pulls his jeans down until they lay at his ankles.  Jensen moans at the sight of Jared’s huge aching dick through Jared’s thin boxer briefs. 

Jensen places his fingers around the waistband of Jared’s boxers and pulls them down to join Jared’s jeans at the ankles.  Jensen takes a hesitant movement towards Jared’s erection and wraps his hand around the large pulsing cock.  He starts a slow rhythm of pumping Jared’s cock with a mixture of a tight embrace and a loose embrace.  Jensen wraps his hand around Jared’s hard shaft and squeezes at the base.

“Fuck, Jen.  So good.  That’s the right pressure. Tight enough, not painful.  Stroke it up and down.”

Jensen listens to Jared’s advice, keeps the right pressure on Jared’s shaft and strokes it up and down.  He strokes Jared’s cock with hunger and want and tries the flick of his wrist at the head of Jared’s cock and Jared’s wriggling with the pleasure.  Jensen feels support and love and continues to stroke Jared’s aching member by adding a twist at the top and Jared is keening in bliss.

“Jen, I want to come in your mouth, please.”

“Jared, oh, God, yes, please.” Jensen can feel his own cock growing even harder at the thought of Jared coming in his mouth.  It’s pure heaven and he wants it.

Jensen tentatively licks at the crown of Jared’s cock and Jared is moaning and wriggling even more.  Jensen places his hands on Jared’s hips and holds him in place.  Jensen slowly sucks in the entire head of Jared’s cock and he is coming in Jensen’s mouth with hot streams of sweet and sour come.

Jensen suckles on the head of Jared’s cock throughout his orgasm and licks his cock clean. 

Jared grabs Jensen by the shoulders and dives his tongue in Jensen’s mouth so he can taste himself on Jensen.  Jared turns their kiss into deep and passionate with finesse.  He breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against Jensen’s.

Taking in a deep breath, he locks eyes with Jensen and sees accomplishment and love in Jensen eyes at giving Jared love in a way he has never experienced himself.

“Jen, what about you?”

“Jared, no need, I already came.”  Jensen says blushing with embarrassment that he came untouched.  Feeling Jared come in his mouth pushed Jensen over the edge and came in his pants.

Jensen was amazed that he came on his own without being touched.  Man, did that turn Jensen on even more.  Wanting to take the final step with Jared and make love to him.  Knowing that he can come untouched, he wants to see himself come without being touched.

 

<~~~~>

Jared – POV

 

Jared uses the internet on his smart phone to see what they can do together on their last day in Portland.  He comes across a site about Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens.  He thought it was a romantic place to take Jensen to express that he wants Jensen to be his boyfriend.  Even being with Jensen is surreal and he wants to make sure how they are feeling towards each other is real.  Jared knows for a fact that he is in love with Jensen; Jared just hopes Jensen feels the same and is not just experimenting with Jared to see if this is what he wants.

Jared told Jensen to meet him at the bus stop in front of the Inn for their last fun filled day together.  Jared spots Jensen sitting on the bench waiting for him with a smile from ear to ear, watching Jared approach him.  Jared greets Jensen and Jensen grabs Jared shirt, pulls him in for a heated kiss, with others all around them. 

Jared freezes in the kiss and the public statement Jensen just made and it stops Jared’s heart that Jensen wants them to be together too.  Jared quickly re-enters the kiss with fever that is boiling under the surface of his skin.

The bus arrives on time.  They find a place to sit; Jensen near the window and Jared in the aisle.  Jensen reaches for Jared’s hand, squeezes it and looks at Jared.

“Jared, I’ve been thinking all night.  I’m in love with you.  And I have never been happier.  I want us to be together and I know I have a lot to learn, but I want to be your boyfriend.”  Jensen states with pure love and honesty.  Jensen feels like he is on cloud nine when he is around Jared and Jensen doesn’t think that feeling will ever stop.

“Jensen.  I love you too.  I have been in love with you for two years and it warms my heart that I was able to be there for you when you needed someone.  I loved you the way I knew how too and you discovered yourself on your own.  I would love to be your boyfriend, Jensen Ross Ackles.”  Jared says as he leans in and kisses Jensen on the lips with an understanding of love.

The bus finally arrives at the botanical gardens and Jared watches with amusement when Jensen takes in the garden with understanding and closure at their love for one another.

Jared watches the love, lust, and passion overwhelm Jensen’s features and body language.  Seeing the garden blows Jensen away in finding love with his best friend, nothing could change that after all that’s said and done.

Jared grabs Jensen’s hands, entangles their fingers together and Jared brings Jensen’s hand up to his lips and kisses it.  Jared watches Jensen relax and kiss Jared’s hand too with a smile knowing Jared loves him for him and nothing more.

Jared pulls him to the path ten steps away from them.  In front of them is a simple wooden oak bench sitting under a wooden oak pergola that leads them to a beautiful built-in waterfall in the rocks.  To the left of the waterfall is a white gazebo covered with red and white tulips.  At the beginning of the path, on each side, are five rose bushes each a different color, red, pink, white, orange, and yellow.  After the roses, the path is filled with mixed daylily, coconut surprise, iris Caesar, and hollyhocks, of bright and pronounced color.

Jared heads straight for the gazebo with Jensen in tow.  Jared is overwhelmed with the emotions of love with Jensen by his side that this is the moment he wants to ask Jensen the final stage to express and show his love to Jensen.

As they sit together on the built-in bench of the gazebo Jared sits sideways and encourages Jensen to sit in-between his legs with his back towards Jared’s chest.  Jared wraps his arms around Jensen and places a hand on Jensen’s heart.  He can feel the beat of his heart and sighs with contentment that they have finally found each other. 

“Jensen. I love you.  I want to make love to you. Tonight?  I want to show you how I feel about you.”

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

 

Jensen swallows hard and the beat of his heart increases at the thought of taking the next step with Jared.  Its scares him because he has never had sex with a man and isn’t sure what to expect during their love-making.  Being with Jared isn’t what scares him, it’s the inexperience where men are concerned. Jensen knows that Jared will go slow, guide, and ease the process of their love-making.  Taking a leap of faith, he wants to make love with Jared and he is ready for Jared to show him that love, even though he knows Jared loves him with all his heart.

“Jared, I love you too.  This is all new to me, but I want you to make love to me.”

Jensen feels Jared embrace him, tightly, Jared kisses the corner of his mouth until Jensen deepens the kiss. 

 

<~~~~>

Jared – POV

 

Jared and Jensen walk hand in hand back to their room at the Inn and Jensen opens the door.  Jared closes the door with his foot and pushes Jensen up against the wall.  Jared kisses Jensen hard in furious passion.  Their tongues dueling for dominance in the war, but Jared makes it out on top.  Jared can hear Jensen moaning into his mouth and it sends a shiver down his back that he is making Jensen sound like pure heaven. 

Jensen wraps his arms around Jared’s neck and draws him in closer to kiss the life out of Jared.

Jared leans in and rubs his achingly hard cock against Jensen and Jensen throws his head back hitting the wall behind him groaning at the sensation.  Jared shifts his hands towards Jensen’s hips and holds him in place.  Jared rocks forward against Jensen and Jared can see love, lust, and pure pleasure through Jensen eyes when they lock together.  Jared sets up a rhythm at rocking his hips into Jensen.

“Jared, let’s move to the bed please.  Show me.”  Jensen breathlessly gets out.

“No problem Jen. I will show you.”

Jared slides his hands, each one under Jensen’s thighs and lifts him up.  Jensen automatically wraps his legs around Jared and is carried over to the large king sized bed.  Jared tosses Jensen onto the bed and crawls up Jensen’s body to attach their lips together again in a hot and steamy kiss.

Jared kisses along Jensen’s jaw line and is pleased to hear the sweet moans and groans of pleasure coming from Jensen’s mouth.  It’s so hot and turns him on even more.  Jared reaches Jensen’s neck and slightly sinks his teeth in to the flesh making Jensen buck up into Jared’s body.

“Get these clothes off, Jen,” Jared growls.

Jensen nods and both of them quickly removes their clothing.  Jensen stares in wonderful amazement at Jared’s well-muscled tanned sculpted body.  It takes his breath away to see Jared in all his naked glory. 

“So hot and sexy, Jared.  I should have known. Oh, God. Please, make love to me.”

“Jen. You’re not bad yourself.  I will make love to you.  Give me some time.”

Jared is in awe of Jensen’s sculpted, tanned, freckled covered body.  He can’t wait to get hands, tongue, and lips on each and everyone one.  Jared sucks in a hard nub and twists the other nub with his other hand.

“Oh, God, Jared. It’s so good.  Never been like this.”  Jensen pants, breathing sharply.

Jared continues to lick and suck at the hard nubs and makes his way along a freckled path right to the base of Jensen’s cock.  Jared sucks in a deep breath and lets it out to kiss along the inside of Jensen’s thigh. 

Jensen opens his legs even wider to give Jared more room and an open invitation that he really wants Jared.  Recognizing the invitation for what it’s worth he licks Jensen’s hard member from the base and works his way up to the mushroom head of his cock. 

“Oh, God.  It’s too much, so good.”

Jared kisses the hard member and wraps his mouth around Jensen’s hard cock.  He sucks Jensen’s cock in and out of his mouth while using his hand to stroke and twist along with his tongue, exploring and tasting Jensen’s amazing cock.  Jared can feel the pre-come leaking out of Jensen’s cock and the rough breathing coming from Jensen.

“Jay, you have to stop. I’m going to...”

Jared doesn’t let him finish his thought and stops. 

“Jen, I need some lube and a condom before we continue on.”

Jensen nods in understanding and watches Jared retrieve the needed lube and condom.

Jared comes back with the items and hands them to Jensen and crawls back on top of Jensen. 

“Jen, I need to prep you, before, we make love.  I just need you to relax and breathe normally.”

Jensen nods and relaxes his body underneath Jared.  Jensen places a pillow under his hips to give Jared a better angle to his hole.

Jared reaches for the lube and opens the bottle to pour a good amount into his hand and fingers.  He places one long finger against Jensen’s hole and rubs it in a circular motion.  Jared can feel the mix of tension and relaxation running through Jensen’s body.

“Jen, it’s okay.  I promise it will be good.”  Jared states encouragingly.

Jared watches Jensen relax as he continues to rub his finger against his hole.  Jared slowly pushes the pad of his finger at the spongy bundle and pushes it inside slowly, encouraging Jensen to breathe and relax.  As Jensen continues to relax his body, Jared’s finger slides all the way in. 

“Oh, God, Jared.”  Jensen rushes out at the discomfort.

Jared pulls his finger out slowly and pushes it back in.  He lets Jensen adjust to the feeling of having a finger inside of him before adding a second finger.  Jensen bucks up and pushes the fingers easily inside his body.  Jared begins to scissor his fingers while moving them in and out of Jensen’s body.

“Oh, God. More. Need more. Want you, Jay.”

Jared smiles from ear to ear and adds a third finger into Jensen’s opening and relaxing body.  Jared then wraps his other hand around Jensen’s hard member and strokes to the beat of his hand in Jensen.

Jared locks eyes with Jensen with pure pleasure and he is sure that he has the same expression as Jensen does.  Jared watches Jensen open the condom and gesture that he wants to slide it on Jared’s hard, aching cock.  Jared hisses as Jensen slides the condom on his hard member. 

Jensen takes the lube and puts some in his hand.  He wraps his hand around Jared’s cock and puts a layer of lube on his dick.  Jensen spreads his legs out even wider for Jared to have space to get to his hole.  Jared lines himself up with Jensen’s hole and gently pushes the head of his cock into Jensen.  Jensen hisses sharply at the realization of Jared’s cock entering his body.

Jared reminds Jensen to relax as he continues to slowly push his way into Jensen’s body. 

“OH, GOD. So full. Jay. Move, please.”  Jensen shouts as Jared finally bottoms out.

Jared slowly pulls out and pushes in as he attacks Jensen’s mouth and sucks in his bottom lip.  Jensen is moaning under him with lust in the mist of heat and want.  Jared loosely wraps his arms around Jensen’s bent legs and pushes them up at an angle.  At the change of position Jared knows that he just found Jensen’s prostate.

“JAY!” OH, shit! I never knew what this could be like. I love you.”

Jared finds a rhythm and sets a pace that suits Jensen at the moment. Jared leans in and suckles his neck and whispers in his ear.

“I love you too, Jen.  God, this is amazing!  So tight.”

Jared feels Jensen buck up to meet his thrusts with such intensity and love that Jensen comes without being touched.  Jared continues to thrust in and out of Jensen’s body until his movements become erratic and he comes.

“Jensen!”

Jared collapses on top of Jensen and rolls onto Jensen’s side.  Together they breathe in and out trying to get their breathing back to normal.  Jensen reaches for Jared’s hand and entangle their fingers together.

“Jay, thank you.  I’m so glad that I found love and I found it with my best friend.  I love you.”

“Jen. You’re welcome.  I’m glad we found each other as well.  I just wish it didn’t take as long as it did.  I love you too.” 

Jensen curls up into Jared and Jared wraps his arms around him and holds him tight.  Jared can feel the easy breathing coming from Jensen and together they fall asleep in each other’s arms, content and happy to have found each other.

 

 

 

<~~~~>

Jensen – POV

Epilogue

 

It’s been six months since Jensen and Jared became boyfriends.  Together they walk down the red carpet hand in hand with grins on their faces.  Jensen is supporting Jared with his new movie premiere and it’s the day they agreed to make the announcement that they’re a couple.

Jensen is very nervous about sharing with the world that he is an openly bisexual man in a gay relationship.  Though just the thought warms his heart for pure and honest love with Jared.

Jensen and Jared arrive at the photographers and talk show hosts that line the red carpet to ask questions. 

One person, Ellen, stops Jensen and Jared to ask a question, and Jensen braces himself for the expected question that is about to be asked.

“Jensen and Jared, are you a couple?  You both look handsome together and make a cute couple.”

Jensen blushes at the thought, looks at Jared, and leans in to give Jared a kiss.

“Yes, I’m in a relationship with Jared Padalecki.  I’m an openly bisexual man in a same sex relationship and I couldn’t be any happier and in love.  Thank you and enjoy the show.”

Jared squeezes Jensen hand in reassurance and pride that his boyfriend was able to express to the world that they are a couple.  It warms Jared’s heart and he leans in to give Jensen a quick and loving kiss on the lips as they enter the theater to watch Jared’s movie.

Jensen feels the pride all through his body that he made it through and announced to the world he is in love with Jared.  It makes his heart melt and be at peace with who he is, truly is, and is meant to love; his best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written for this year’s spn_j2_bigbang challenge. This is the first time, I participate in the challenge or ever written a story this long before.
> 
> Thank you to my alpha reader deanshot for taking the time to read over my story and encourage me to keep going and pushing through until the end. For taking the time to support and offer advice over my fears, worries, and struggles of participating in the challenge.
> 
> Thank you to ar_richardson for offering my story to a friend to be a beta for my story. Without you I would probably be still looking for a beta to help my story along and readable. I want to thank you for taking the time to beta my work and support my writing.
> 
> Thank you to bumblebat79 for being an amazing beta and offering to be my beta. I know how hard it is to open your arms to someone new and letting them in. Without your help and support, my story wouldn’t be readable and enjoyable to the readers, all with having to move quickly while helping me along with my story.
> 
> Thank you to jennylynneh for being an amazing and speeding beta. Thank you for helping make my story enjoyable and readable. Thank you for all the suggestions and ideas and tips to help me make the changes on my own!! Thank you again for all your support.
> 
> Thank you to wendy for letting me participate in her challenge on her community spn_j2_bigbang. Thank you for being a wonderful mod and doing all that you do behind the scenes to make this challenge a huge success every year!!! It was an honor to participate in your challenge after 3 long years of working hard on this story to make it what it is.
> 
> I am dedicating my story to sammyndeansgrl1, for her story, Falling, that inspired the creation of this story in the first place. She was a wonderful friend and amazing author, who I was honored to know through the connection and love of Supernatural and writing!!!! Love you!!
> 
> Some of the places in my story are real and I used some of the places from this tourist site to help for some inspiration: http://www.visitportland.com/portland-maine-fine-dining.aspx


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